I give him a thumbs up, realize I just flashed him again, and amble into the shower instead of saying anything else since I clearly cannot be trusted to speak anymore. Even though I’m a far cry from a virgin at this point, I have zero experience actually flirting with someone I like.
Anyone I cared for could be used against me, so it was better not to get attached to the girls in that place, made it that much easier to keep us in line. Add in the fact how quickly my parents were torn away from me, and it didn’t take long to catch on that the less attachments I have, the better.
Shutting off my emotions to seduce someone for a scrap of food? I’m a pro. Knowing where to touch to make them come faster so it can be over with? You bet. But get me around three guys I’m too nervous to actually admit I’m in love with, and I feel like an awkward, bumbling teenager again. It doesn’t matter if they've said it, tried to make their feelings abundantly clear; I can’t seem to actually force the words out.
Because this actuallymeanssomething, and that scares the hell out of me.
The shower curtain is pulled back as Kinsley steps in behind me and I look down at all of the suds covering my feet, watching them pop and tapping my finger in a steady rhythm against my hip. I have a choice to make, and I’m not sure either option is better than the other.
I’m not overly fond of having a naked man at my back, but at least my wings shield me. If I turn to face him, I’ll be completely exposed. Yet, I’ll know where he’s at, can see what he’s doing.
It’s the imagining that’s the worst, the what ifs.
With a heavy, nervous exhale, I turn, swiping water from my cheek as I face him. He stands in the back of the cramped space patiently, not once rushing or even attempting to touch me. And, bless his heart, he kept his boxers on. Sure, his boner is clear as day in the soaked fabric, but that he’s trying means more than I can ever say.
“Switch so you can actually have some water?”
He half-smiles and the heavy tension is washed down the drain along with a bottle’s worth of soap. It’s definitely not the best setup for two people, one always left out in the cold while the other hogs the spray, but it’s manageable. When we clamber out, Kinsley goes first to test how well the towels on the floor are going to protect us before offering a hand to help me. Thankfully, my wings and claws recede while I’m toweling off, making getting dressed ten times easier. Kinsley wraps a towel around his hips before slipping out to his room to hunt down some clothes.
Sitting down in the hall, I wait for one of the guys to come back since I’m not sure what sort of thing they have planned and don’t want to spoil all of their efforts when they’re trying so hard. I tilt my head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling and shutting my eyes as I feel a heavy pressure in my skull I’m coming to associate with my dragon half waking up.
That wasn’t so bad.
Naturally, she doesn’t reply, but I just keep rambling in my head. It’s strange, not only having a home, but never actually being alone anymore. Even if she doesn’t say anything, I canfeelher. It’s...comforting. I mean, I might just have a split personality disorder, but whatever. If the day ever comes I can afford therapy, I’ll bring a massive notebook to replace their pathetic little notepad, making sure I really get my money’s worth. Lord knows they’re going to have enough to bill me for navigating, so might as well ensure they’re prepared from day one.
Kaiden comes home, prowling down the hall, and my eyes snap open as I sense his presence drawing closer before taking the hand he extends to help me up. Running my tongue over my dry lips, I try to stuff down my other half, but she refuses to settle down, making my skin feel too tight and uncomfortable.
“How was work?” I ask, grimacing as a shiver wracks my body.
“Should’ve called in sick,” he scoffs, drawing me against him as he tends to whenever I give off even the slightest hint that I might be cold.
“That bad?”
He looks down at me and winks. “Nah, just would rather be here instead.”
The fluttering in my stomach is quickly forgotten as we enter the living room, all of the furniture pushed to the side and a massive tarp covering the floor. Various saws and knives are scattered around, and I tilt my head to the side in surprise.
“So we’re spending the night hiding a body?” I shrug, unperturbed. “Wish you’d told me before my shower, but whatever. Where are we starting?”
Kahl furrows his brow. “What? No.” He gestures to the other side of the room that I missed at first glance. “Carving pumpkins makes a huge mess.”
Blinking a few times, I cautiously ask, “People still celebrate Halloween? I thought that went by the wayside with how few kids there are.”
Even Kaiden turns so the three of them can look at me with identical masks of horror. “Why the hell would anyone give up Halloween? It’s the only holiday that actually matters,” Kinsley emphatically declares as the others nod.
I hold up my hands in surrender. “To be fair, at least last year the town I was near didn’t decorate. And the rest was assumption; not like I had a front row seat.”
That doesn’t seem to placate them in the slightest. “You do like Halloween, right?” Kahl asks, face incredibly serious.
Smiling, I stare at these three standing here awaiting my answer like it’s a pass or fail quiz, internally chuckling with amusement. “Who doesn’t? I just haven’t exactly been in a position to celebrate it for a while.” They collectively relax and I snort, amazed at their priorities.
“Well, now we can make up for lost time,” Kaiden decrees, urging me towards the tarp just as the front door opens. I tense, getting ready to hide, but Kaiden keeps a steady hand on my shoulder and refuses to let me bolt. “Just Eli.”
My heart is still racing, but I force my muscles to relax, albeit slowly as adrenaline crashes through my system. As much as it was my idea, I’m incredibly nervous. I’m not sure what I can possibly say to begin smoothing things over, but I know I need to make the first step. I sincerely doubt he will just accept things over time without some form of effort, but my social skills are clearly in need of an overhaul.
He comes around the corner into the living room, eyeing me warily. Awkwardly, I wave while he tips his head in acknowledgement, snagging a pumpkin and sitting as far away from me as possible. Kahl comes to sit beside me for moral support while Kinsley and Kaiden take the other edges, the five of us spread out over the rectangle without making it look like it’s us against him.
“So how’s it going over there?” Kaiden starts while I work on sawing the top off of my soon-to-be jack-o-lantern.
