Chapter 10
Saige
––––––––
“Ithink we should inviteElias.”
Kahl’s typically stoic face morphs into an adorably confused mess. “Don’t you think you’re dating enough of my brothers already?”
Gagging, I take another swing at the punching bag in the mock gym set up in part of their basement. “Not what I meant, you sicko.”
Kaiden’s manning the forge with Cai and Yri today, while Kinsley is upstairs up to no good, I’m sure. As soon as he asked Kahl to take me downstairs and keep me busy for a while, it was pretty obvious he was setting up another date.
In the few days since they mentioned it, they’ve been making a point to rearrange their responsibilities so that they can all be home in the evenings. That way we can do something together, even if it’s just something as easy as a board game when they’re exhausted from work. It’s...nice. Even before my parents were killed we never did stuff like that, not nearly that tight knit. But the Veles family puts each other before anything, worrying over their siblings and even their in-laws, though they’d never admit to the latter.
Even though I desperately want this, I don’t want to shove someone out of the way so that I can have a place. Eli was here long before I showed up, and even though there was a disconnect between him and the triplets, I was apparently the final straw. That kid has gotten a raw deal in life. Between his parents being killed when he was a toddler to the sister that raised him moving out to be with her mates, leaving him with the brothers that were barely home, constantly working to support them all, he’s gotten screwed from the time he could walk. I can’t be the reason that he doesn’t feel at home in his own damn house; the guilt would taint anything the triplets and I manage to cultivate.
Frustrated with the countless problems in my life, I take a few more swings at the punching bag, trying to work out the rising aggression before I lash out without meaning to. A few minutes later I’m able to breathe through the uncomfortable pressure in my skull as my mental dragon stops pacing restlessly in the back of my mind.
Sweat trickles down my temples as the foreign impulses wane, leaving me feeling more like myself again. Taking off my gloves, I flop down on the floor beside my water bottle, downing half of it in one go.
“I don’t want to chase him away. He thinks he lost Ezra and now thinks he’s lost you guys too. It’s not even about me not wanting him to hate me, though that still sucks, it’s about making him see that he isn’t the odd man out.”
Kahl leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest with a small, respectful smile. “I think that’s a great idea.” He pulls out his phone to text his brother, and then it’s out of our hands whether he accepts the invite or not.
If teenagers are this stubborn, I can only imagine the fire breathing, baby girls. Honestly, I can’t ever imagine wanting kids at this rate; I can barely even handle keeping myself alive. Toss in the chance your kid could be born an arsonist or electrocute you before they can walk? No fuckin’ thank you, Satan.
“Think I have enough time for a bath before whatever Kinsley’s up to is ready?”
“Sure, but I’ll walk with you to make sure you don’t peek.” He winks and follows behind me upstairs before covering my eyes at the top.
Instantly I stiffen, my breaths coming quicker before he swiftly yanks his hands away, cursing and apologizing profusely. Shaking my head, I force myself to keep my eyes firmly shut, leaning back into his chest. My reflexive panic takes a few minutes to sift through, all the muddied thoughts and emotions needing to be dissected into manageable pieces.
Memories threaten to drown me, but I shut all of them down before they can establish a firm grip. Pushing them away, I focus only on the here and now with slow, steady breaths, grounding myself so I don’t spiral. That little piece of dragon that’s taken up residence in my body stirs in response to my sudden spike of panic, unfurling in my mind’s eye, calmer and more comforting this time. As she does, my awareness of the guys amplifies. Even without seeing them, I canfeelnot only Kahl against my back, but Kinsley’s presence a few rooms over. There’s a very faint pull in the opposite direction, too far to make perfect sense of, but enough to push me in Kaiden’s direction.
I keep Kahl’s words close, deciding for once not to look at this thing as a parasite that took root in my system, but as a gift. It’s not trying to hurt and destroy me, just keep me with our flight and safe. She’s my internal panic button, aiming to give me the means to protect myself, and I have no choice other than to accept that. I could rage and fight, scream into the void, but it’s clear now that she isn’t going anywhere. So I need to learn to deal with it one way or another, even if I sound like a lunatic with a split personality by resigning myself to the fact that she’s here to stay.
Kahl tries to step away, unaware of my mini mental breakdown, but still, I don’t open my eyes. I need to do this, prove to myself that I won’t let the past destroy my future. Even if I’m broken and possessed by some dragon spirit that has a perpetual lady boner, that doesn’t mean jack.
I may be a hot mess, but why should only perfect people get to be happy?
