We stop outside of the truck as she pulls her hand from mine, frowning. “So what about me? Are you waiting for me to stab you in your sleep too?”
I reel back like she struck me, blindsided by the anger in her voice. “What are you talking about? Of course not. You’re different.”
If anything, she seems to speak even more vehemently. “Because I’m your mate? Is that all I am to you? Not Rin the human, or even Corinna Harlow…just ‘my mate’?” She makes air quotes, her heart rate picking up and cheeks tinting red.
“Abort!”Cole shouts.
“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t!”Osiris yells just as adamantly, but neither of them actually offer anyhelp.
Licking my lips, I suck down a steadying breath to try and gather my thoughts before I manage to blow things to hell even more than I somehow already have. And for once, I slam a firm mental block between my brothers and me, because I need to be able to actually talk to my mate without someone whispering scripted words into my ear all of the time.
“What do you want from me, Rin?” I toss the bags in the bed of the truck, leaning against it. “You’re mad that I don’t like most humans? Don’t trust them?”
She takes a deep breath through her nose. “I don’t think that you’ve actually realized I’m human.” I start to protest, but she keeps going. “It’s like you’re just waiting for something magical to happen. I see the way you light up when I start adopting your habits. When I talk myself out of stressing so much, stop thinking of things from a human perspective and try to approach things like one of you would. And when I was able to hear Osiris, don’t think I missed that hopeful glint in your eye.”
I’m not sure if she’s going to yell or cry, because I’m obviously shit at reading this woman. But her eyes are glassy despite the heat in her voice. “I’m not going to shift, Ares. You’re not going to wake up one day snuggled up to some lion, or anything else. You’re treating me like some shifter that was raised by humans, but is finally home at last, and I don’t think you even realize it.”
She throws her arms out to the side. “I’m just me, and I’ve been honest about that from the beginning, that I wasn’t this amazing thing like you were convinced.”
When it’s clear that she’s done, I reach out to pull her closer, swiveling so that she’s pinned against the door. I brace one hand above my head and wait for Rin to look at me, giving her a minute to get control of her breathing.
Only when she doesn’t sound like she’s about to burst into tears do I gently tilt her chin up. There’s enough of a communication barrier between us as it is with the way I fuck up everything I try to say, that I want to make sure she can at least read the sincerity on my face if I muck this up too.
“I don’t expect you to be something you’re not, but that goes both ways here.” She blinks, but like she plowed on before I could get a word in edgewise, I place a single finger on her lips. This is hard enough to talk about, but I don’t think I could manage it if it wasn’t in one fell swoop.
“Would it make it more convenient if you were like us? Sure. That doesn’t mean I’m disappointed, and it sure as shit doesn’t mean you don’t belong with us. I never even expected to find my mate, Rin, and I’m thankful every day that you came to us. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re human. I’m not about to lie and say that my instincts screaming at just the scent of your skin doesn’t make me biased, that I look at you differently than others. But just like you were raised to look down on us and expect us to be nothing more than savage beasts until you learned differently through personal experience, I have my own hang ups.”
I take a deep breath, wanting to close my eyes and lean my forehead against hers, but I don’t. I can’t hide from the memories by shutting my eyes any more than I can try to run away from them. Gods know I’ve tried enough over the years.
“They gutted her, Rin. My mom. Not just killed; they absolutely tore her apart. And my dads couldn’t stop them any more than they could live with the grief of losing her.” I swallow, looking up at the late afternoon sky despite my claims to face it head on. Sighing, I push through and face her again because I owe her that.
“They killed themselves the day after. Dropped me off to live with Osiris’ family, hugged me goodbye, and I never saw any of them again.” Another deep breath. “I had it better than Cole; I was only a few years away from turning eighteen, so just needed to finish out high school before getting our own place. But still, it didn’t make it hurt any less that I wasn’t enough of a reason for them to stick around.”
I abso-fucking-lutely refuse to cry, gritting my teeth instead until that damning burning behind my eyes settles back down to a manageable level. “So yeah. Until you, I hadn’t met a human worth caring about, because I refused to go into the towns from that point on. I’m terrified that something like that is going to happen to one of you three, too. I expect the worse out of everyone until they prove otherwise, because not just from my experience, but the damn history books show how cruel people can be.”
She rakes her nails over my arm, sending a shiver down my spine, but I don’t do anything until I see how she is going to react. I’m apparently shit at interpreting her feelings on everything, so I’m not doing another damn thing until I have a clear picture of where we stand.
“What was that for?”
She leans forward enough to kiss my shoulder, looking contrite. “I know you like it and don’t have the first clue of what to say after that. So I was trying to make you feel better and distract you before I continued to make an ass of myself by being way off base,” she mutters.
A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “So maybe we agree that instead of assuming things and letting them fester until they reach explosive levels, we have a conversation first? Even if it’s uncomfortable or we feel stupid admitting where our minds have been at?”
She nods sheepishly. “You may have mentioned that before.” A genuine laugh slips out as I guide her away from the door so that I can open it, the two eavesdroppers blatantly pressed against the glass partially falling out the second I do. “You literally have super hearing,” Rin chuckles, pushing them out of the way and climbing in.
Cole scoots over and offers a hand to help her up. “Like we said, beautiful, there are bound to be a few kinks. But congratulations! We just had our first fight, so now we can schedule in some make up sex later.”
Rolling my eyes, I close her door, feeling far better than I anticipated after rehashing those old wounds. While I jump into the driver’s seat, Rin finishes buckling her seat belt, sounding more like herself now that the tension’s abated.
“You weren’t even part of it,” she disputes.
Cole gasps. “We’re all in this together. When one person is upset, it’s all of our problem. Thus, fights are family affairs. So if Ares gets make up sex, we all should too. It’s only fair, really.”
She smacks his shoulder, but laughs. “Are you just always turned on?”
I start following the directions she gave me while they continue to horse around in the back. Osiris is pawing at her skirt for attention, trying to not be constantly in her head while she adjusts, but nearly as bad as Cole. Those two are cut from the same cloth, and on Cole’s good days, he’s a playful, notorious flirt. It’s the bad days we just need to keep a close eye on, but I have a feeling they’ll be easier to manage with Rin around.
Sixteen
