Cole smirks, grabbing my hand and tugging me into a tight embrace. He locks his fingers behind my back, preventing escape, and instead of feeling trapped, I start to calm down. He’s physically holding me together while I’m a scattered mess, and I’m incredibly grateful for this rather than a slap in the face for my borderline hysteria.
“No wonder you developed a pack link,” he states, and I’m sure my confusion is clear on my face. “You’re already part of the pride, beautiful, despite the fact none of us have actually claimed you.”
Things like that just make it hard to look him in the face, far too emotional when I’m already feeling frazzled. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, just soaking up his easy-going affection.
“What do you mean, claimed? You decided the first day like an obsessive stalker,” I tease in an effort to make light of the situation.
He kisses the top of my head. “Usually it’s just some kinky sex; some orgasms, a bite or three. We don’t do marriage like the humans do, it’s more permanent. And that means giving into our instincts to claim our mate as ours. It’s different between breeds, but the felines? We need to see that mark. It just appeases our baser instincts in a way that I can’t describe.”
One more quick kiss and he’s pulling away, walking towards the door. Ares strides through a second later with two more backpacks, tossing them on the floor by the bed that Ozzy is stretched out on.
“But make no mistake,” Ares states, crossing the room and crowding me, putting a hand on my hip and pulling me against him. “Even if that never happened, you’d still be ours, Rin. Being mates means so much more than sex; that’s just a perk.”
He kisses me quickly before striding away and I’m left a sexually confused mess. “I guess I can get that shower now,” I mumble, practically fleeing the room.
Under the hot spray of the shower, I finally start wading through the jumbled mess making it hard to think straight, let alone breathe. The link with Osiris was a shock to my system, taking any reservations and denial I was still clinging to about being their mate and blowing it to smithereens. But it also took away my only safe place.
I’m in their world, surrounded by people that don’t know or trust me. It’s only my connection to them that makes anyone even accept me being out here. I live in their house, eat their food, and survive off of their generosity. Now I can’t even call my head my own?
They’ve woven themselves so quickly and intrinsically into my life that I can’t even imagine them not being in it. It’s overwhelming and terrifying.
“Intense,”Ozzy cuts in, just further proving my point.“We’re just ‘all in’ sort of people, love. And I know that’s a huge shift from what you’re used to, but…do you actually hate it?”
I sigh, scrubbing my hair and closing my eyes.No. It just feels like I’m repeating the cycle in a different place. If I depend on you three for survival, how’s that any different than me mooching off of an inheritance? People change over time, so where does that leave me if you suddenly revoke your generosity? I’d be dependent on you three for everything. My life would be completely at your mercy andthat’swhat I’m struggling with the most, I think.
“So get a job, ‘ya lazy bum.”My eyes fly open as a surprised laugh slips from my lips unbidden.“Who said anything about a free ride? We take care of each other, so don’t think that means you get out of having to pull your own weight.”
Gods, I love you,I laugh, already feeling worlds better than when I walked in here.You always know how to make me feel better.
There’s a pause as I realize what unintentionally slipped out, but I don’t feel the need to call it back now that it’s out there. Osiris has been with me through the most traumatic time in my life; it’s natural that I’d cling to him like an emotional crutch.
To his credit, he plays it off flippantly instead of making it weird.“Of course you do, I’m amazing.”I scoff, finishing rinsing my hair out and grabbing a towel as he adds softer,“And you already know my stance on the matter. But something tells me you’re not quite ready to hear it yet.”
I’m already wrestling with things enough, so I don’t dispute the sentiment. I just can’t seem to let go of the fact that I’ve spent such a short amount of time around these men, yet at the same time, feel like I’ve known them forever. It goes against everything I was taught, that there’s no way you can feel this strongly for someone this quickly, that it’s just lust confused with insta-love. Still, despite logic telling me otherwise, it feels like so much more than something that can just be explained away. It’s like coming home after an eternity away, a yearning for somethingmorewhen I didn’t even realize I wasn’t content until faced with the future they’re offering so freely.
And now I sound like some sappy damsel in a cheap romance novel. Maybe I just need to shut off my brain and stop making things overly complicated. There are two hot guys claiming that they adore me, ones that seem like genuinely good people, on the other side of this door. Add in the sweet romantic whispering in my ear, knowing just what to say to help put things into perspective?
Fuck, I should just go for it. What’s playing it safe ever done for me all of these years? Left me miserable and alone, agonizing over what people thought of me? I can be spontaneous. Hell, I celebrated my wedding night by being a coconspirator to his murder and leaving everything I knew behind. They might be from the wilds, but I have a little inside of me too.
I change into a tank top and pajama pants, since I’m not worried about the chill when surrounded by so much body heat. Cole and Ares are sprawled out on the bed watching TV. Both are in loose pajama pants, but Cole is still in a t-shirt, whereas Ares is bare chested. Every taut muscle is on display and I busy myself running a brush through my hair so I don’t make a fool of myself drooling over them.
“You and Ozzy have a nice shower?” Cole asks and I pause.
“What are you talking about?”
He huffs. “Just loves rubbing it in our faces.”
I suppress a smile, walking over to his half of the bed and gazing down at him. “Are you jealous?”
He looks to the side, not meeting my eye. “No. But I mean…he found you, brought you home. And you always look to him first when you’re uncomfortable. Only thing we had going for us is that he couldn’t actually have a conversation with you. Now the smooth talker is in your head too.”
I throw a leg over him, straddling his lap to his surprise. His hands instantly fall on my hips, but he barely breathes, like he’s afraid to move and spook me. It’s endearing to realize just how considerate he really is. Snuggly and affectionate, but still a gentleman.
“So, you’re jealous.” I nod, confirming it to myself. “And wondering what you bring to the table?” He gives a noncommittal shrug. “So, you’re already in my head then.” My hands settle on his stomach to stay upright and I have to bite my tongue not to start running them over all of the firm ridges. “Because all we were talking about in there was how I was feeling like a mooch and that I’m not half as great as the three of you make me out to be.”
“Of course you are,” Ares protests, rolling to his side to face us and resting his head on his hand.
“Maybe not right yet, but someday,” I vow. “Now that I have the freedom to start living for myself instead of someone else. And I don’t want to lose that, no matter what’s happening here.”
