Ten
Rin
Istretch, the bed feeling far larger than before, namely because it’s empty. After dinner I heard them arguing over the fact that they should give me some space after my moment with Ares, that Cole crawling into bed with me would just leave me overwhelmed. While a part of me is annoyed that they’re trying to decide what’s best for me, treating me like I’m made of glass, I can’t really be mad.
As Cole said, relationships work when people are open and honest with each other. The fact that I didn’t speak up and instead kept my annoyance to myself is exactly why I’m feeling this way.
There’s no doubt in my mind if I’d just shouted down the stairs that I didn’t mind, actually enjoy the warmth and security that comes from lying between a couple of shifters, that they would have jogged right up. But how am I supposed to say that out loud when I’m barely able to admit it to myself? Every rule I grew up with says that people need to date, get engaged, and married. It’s a long process. Yet just a few days with these men and I feel right at home.
Who knew that affection was so addictive?
I didn’t balk when Ares kissed me, because to be frank, I’m not blind. The man is hot as hell and I have no doubt he’d be a fun way to spend an evening. It was only the last month or so that my father snapped and my life went to shit. He’s always been overprotective, but I had far more freedom. As long as I stayed in the penthouse district, I had free reign to do as I pleased. And despite the pretentious assholes that live there, a few of them were tolerable enough to have flings with. Now? I can’t help but frown at everyone I’ve fucked, incredibly unmemorable. But there’s a big difference between sex and affection, which is becoming abundantly clear the longer I’m here.
Osiris I’m sure was busy beating himself up about the incident in the wood shop, and I wish that I could find a way to get through to him. Even if he had scratched me, I wouldn’t have been upset. Despite what I just went through, there’s not a single concern in my mind that he would have intentionally hurt me. No one does well being caught off guard and startled on the best of days, but so soon after a traumatic event? I’m honestly surprised something like that hadn’t happened sooner.
I get it, especially since he had a front row seat to the way my father hurt me, but I desperately wish I shared their telepathy so I could really convince him.
The door creaks open and Ozzy pads in on silent feet, a paper clutched in his mouth. I shake myself out of my internal ramblings, sliding my sleeve back down to conceal the fading bruises I was absentmindedly tracing.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I throw my hair back in a ponytail and reach for the note. “Timmy fall down the well again? Seriously, that boy. Wells, electric fences; I’m pretty sure anyone that names their child Tim is secretly hoping they carry on the curse.”
Ozzy gives me a droll look that I’m becoming incredibly familiar with. He sits at my feet, resting his head on my knee.
“Hey, don’t give me that look.” Still, I scratch the top of his head. “You’re the one that encouraged me to make out with your brother while you watched like a weirdo.” He starts meowing his protest and I snicker. “Hey, I’m not kink shaming! Heck, a little voyeurism could be fun, but then you all dropped me a hot second later. You’re going to give a girl a complex.”
He nips at my leg before hopping up beside me, rubbing the length of his body against my arm and back. All the while he tries to voice his objections, just sounding like a pissed off kitten. Still, it’s far easier to practice talking about this stuff with someone that can’t tell me I’m being ridiculous.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t make things about me when someone so clearly needs our help.”
I pick up the note, wiping the drool off of it, and try to decipher the writing. Clearly another Ozzy original he wants me to display on the fridge, no doubt, because he put some effort into this one. I can actually discern most of the letters.
“How come one of the others didn’t just shout that I needed to get my lazy butt out of bed?” Faced with the self-deprecation in his eyes as he glances away, I set the note aside, stretching out on my side and coaxing him closer. “I’m sorry, Oz. I can’t imagine how hard all of this is on you, being stuck like this. If I’m ever making you feel left out, bite me, alright?”
He growls his displeasure at the idea, but it promptly cuts off when I kiss the top of his head. “Seriously. I know I make a ton of jokes, but it’s just how I cope. Everything about this is pretty terrifying, not even taking into account the larger issues. Ignoring things won’t make them go away, but I’m not quite sure how to face them either. So bear with me if I mess up, okay?”
He purrs against me, tucking his face into my collar. Gently, I trace the patterns in his fur, all of the elegant stripes and spots that I can reach. We just lay like that for a while in comfortable silence, lost in our own thoughts.
“I envy you, you know,” I finally murmur, swallowing. “I don’t have claws, sharp teeth, or speed. I’m just…me. But you? You could run for miles without slowing, tear someone apart if you needed to. There’s all this power in your tiny body; it’s special. So why would the three of you look at me twice? There’s nothing special about me and I bring nothing to the table. So a part of me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you guys to realize it too. I think that’s why I’m so hesitant to dive all in on this, despite the fact that I want it.”
Osiris licks my neck before worming his way off the bed. He snatches a pen from the end table and paws at the note until it flips over, going to work with intense concentration. By the time he’s done, my stomach flips with nerves and I narrow my eyes at him.
“You couldn’t have given me a heads up that you have super hearing as humans too? That they could hear everything I was saying?” His eyes twinkle with mirth as I throw a pillow at him, rolling out of bed and getting to my feet. “Be happy you still get sympathy points for now, but the second you shift back? I’m punching you.”
He smirks, watching as I grab a change of clothes and waiting outside the door while I shower and dress. Nearly tripping over him on my way out, we head down to the kitchen. The table’s piled high with breakfast and my mouth waters before I even pull out my chair.
“That can’t possibly be all you’re eating?” Cole asks in shock and I frown down at my plate.
“What’s wrong with it?”
He leans across the table, scooping more food on until it’s practically overflowing. “The first few days I thought you just weren’t feeling good because of your head or something, but is that seriously all you eat at every meal? No wonder you’re all skin and bones!”
I bite my lip, stowing my instant retort and instead muster up a bit of courage to just be honest. “That’s just how I was raised. High class society has certain expectations, and even though I snuck some junk on occasion, I had to exercise twice as hard to make up for it.”
Both men look at me in horror and Ares gently pushes my plate closer to me. “They make you starve yourself to stay thin and fit in?”
I take a hesitant bite before quoting my father. “Never going to land a good husband if you let yourself go.” Three growls surround me as I focus my attention on picking at my food.
“Excuse the hell out of me,” Cole starts, incensed, “but your society is fucked up. It’s thepersonthat matters; not what they look like. Also, you’re gorgeous, if you weren’t aware. And you’d still be just as stunning if you got to a healthy weight. You’re underfed, and winter’s coming. You don’t have fur!” He throws his hands out animatedly. “If you don’t put at least a few pounds on, you’re going to freeze to death!”
