“Aurora, my queen!” he breathes in complete surrender.
I force my eyes closed and shut down for good, pretending I am not in the middle of the worst deception of my life.
There are no princes here, just monsters and wreckage.
CHAPTER 25
Killian
Violentthrashingawakensmefrom my slumbering afterglow. I jump on the bed, my senses on high alert, trying to assess the threat immediately.
Next to me, Aimee is writhing uncontrollably on the mattress, her limbs flailing in different directions.
“No! No! No!” she sobs in her sleep, sweat marring her beautiful skin. Fuck, she’s having a nightmare. I inch closer to her, tapping her with precaution on her shoulder, trying to avoid startling her.
“Umbra, baby, it’s okay. Wake up.” I try to coax her out of her night terror, but she keeps jerking, full on crying now, tears staining her red cheeks.
“No, no, Jonathan! What are you doing!” She half screams, half sobs, before her body slumps down on the bed,catatonically. I panic, grabbing both of her shoulders and shaking them gently.
Jonathan?! Who the fuck is Jonathan? What the hell is she dreaming? I freeze in stupor as understanding dawns on me, frosting the blood in my veins. All the flinching, her defensive mechanisms, her need to always be in control… Her reaction to me that night when she tried to punch me and I pinned her to the bed… Someone had molested her in the past.
“Aimee, Aimee, wake up!” I whisper-shout at her as anger coils inside me like a vicious beast. My shadows are swirling around us in blasts of crimson, threatening to wreak havoc on the room.
“Why? Why? Why?” she says in a defeated voice before opening her eyes wide, her pupils blown out in absolute terror. She recoils from my touch right away, shrinking into herself against the headboard.
“Stay away! Don’t touch me!” She sniffs, her body trembling. She hugs her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, while inhaling and exhaling deeply. Her eyes are splotchy, her gaze lost, as if she’s somewhere between here and some dark, twisted, horrible corner of her mind.
My heart shatters like glass under heavy boulders seeing her like this. I will fucking kill whoever did this to her!
“Little umbra, it’s me. Killian…” My voice is barely above a whisper, and I show her my hands, palms up, trying to convey that I mean her no harm. I would rather die a thousand deaths than ever cause her even an ounce of pain. “You’re safe here, Aimee. Come back to me,” I beg her.
She’s humming, counting slowly as her eyes move across the room in wide sweeps.
“One clawfoot bathtub by the windows.” She mumbles. “The feel of the silk sheets against my bare legs. The crackling sound of the fire warming the room.” She’s grounding herself, I realize with relief. She’s finding her way back to me. “The smell of you.”She looks me straight in the eyes at the last statement, and all I want is to engulf her in my arms, to hold her close and swear that nothing and nobody will ever hurt her again, not as long as I still rule over these wretched lands.
“I’ll never be safe anywhere. Not when what haunts me lives inside of me,” she says, returning to herself.
I tentatively reach a hand towards her fingers that are clasping each other just above her knees, but don’t make contact. My hand hovers in the air, and I gulp before asking, “Can I…” my voice trailing at the end, preparing for her rejection. She nods slowly, and I barely graze her warm, clammy skin before she flings herself in my arms—her hands clinging to my shoulders, her head resting on my chest.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She sobs in my arms. “I’ve ruined everything.” I push her back gently to look at her face, and I’m taken aback by the guilt swimming in her puffy eyes. Agitation and rage battle to reach the surface, and I clench my teeth painfully, my fangs piercing my lower lip.
“What are you on about? You have nothing to apologize for, Aimee.” She looks up at me, her face blank and eyes guarded. “If anything, I am the one who is sorry.” Her eyes narrow, and she tries to wriggle herself free from my grasp.
“Don’t you fucking dare! I don’t need your pity, Killian!”
“Pity? Pity?!? Let me finish, umbra! I am sorry I did not meet you earlier! That I was not there to stop whatever happened to you from happening. That I did not know you earlier so I could have hunted that bastard down, and torn him limb from limb, and fucking fed him his own slimy, mutilated member.” I am shaking with unkept rage, my shadows twisting and turning, begging to be allowed to unleash upon whoever did this to her. “Who is this fucking Jonathan? Give me his full name and I’ll bring you his bloodied head on a golden platter before morning.”
All of a sudden, her body relaxes in my grasp, the corners of her lips going upwards, just barely.
“Sometimes I forget what a violent creature you really are,” she snickers and falls back into my embrace, circling her arms around me, letting them rest just below my shoulder blades.
I kiss her hair, running soothing circles on her backside. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, little umbra, and I will not insist, but know I am here, whenever, or if ever, you feel ready to share your story.”
She sighs against my chest, then tilts her head up, looking in my eyes. “I guess the least I could do is explain what just happened.” I open my mouth to say no, she doesn’t need to explain anything she doesn’t want to, but she beats me to it.
“I’ve never told this to anyone before. Kept it hidden out of shame, guilt, I don’t know. I don’t want to be treated like a victim, and I will fucking kick you in the groin if you ever do so.”
I chuckle and nod.
