Stained.
I looked at the colorful plastic of the playground and saw only a target range. I wasn't clearing my mind. I was mourning the girl who once believed sunlight was a gift. Now, I knew it was just a spotlight that made it harder to hide the blood.
As I passed by the playground, I paused to watch the kids playing, their frisbees flying and their giggles spilling into the evening air, living a completely carefree life. It struck me how long it had been since I had felt such innocence.
After my parents were taken from me, I had no choice but to grow up. Instead of going to the playground and having playdates, Zeno signed me up for martial arts to make me tougher.
Instead of spending afternoons at friends’ houses, I went target shooting. Instead of living a typical life in a real home, I lived in Zeno’s casino high above the city, isolated and separated from anyone my age.
Though our surroundings were luxurious, and I never lacked material comfort, there was one thing I yearned for?—
unconditional love. And space. Space to become the woman I was destined to be.
I still couldn’t understand why Zeno was so overprotective, why he couldn’t let me breathe, why he didn’t see that I needed more than guards and cages.
I needed real freedom, trust, and a chance to find myself.
Instead of raising a daughter, Zeno curated an inheritance. He’d kept me safe the way a collector kept a rare diamond behind glass, untouched yet meant to be used as leverage. He didn't want my happiness. He wanted my compliance.
I knew I was safe, had a roof over my head, and food to fill my stomach. Yet the woman I’d become, living amid chaos, felt restless and unsatisfied, constantly finding reasons to complain.
Zeno’s helicopter protection prevented me from experiencing true freedom, leaving me longing for a normal life. Desperately, I yearned to live my own way, to make my own choices, and to discover who I truly was on my own terms.
Perhaps I was starting to do that with Thal. Still, the aftermath was looming, and I found myself holding my breath,waiting for the inevitable. Each moment felt like a delicate pause before disaster, tiring, frustrating, and completely my fault.
If I had never slept with Thal on that island...
If I hadn’t kept returning to him here, again and again...
If I had just been honest with Zeno from the start...
So many ifs hovered over me like a heavy, unshakable storm I couldn’t escape. I looked up at the bright blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, while the sun shone over the city.
Yet, despite its radiant glow, it felt as if that sunlight wasn’t meant for me but for someone else. Maybe the woman I wished to become.
I wondered what she would do if she were in my place. Would she hesitate, torn between loyalty and desire? Would she feel the same inner conflict, or would she stand tall, claiming her life with strength and confidence? My chest ached with longing, each breath stirring a mix of hope and doubt.
Looking up, I took a deep breath, searching for clarity in the wide, blue sky. I let the sunlight wash over me like a warm wave, its heat prickling my skin, soothing yet energizing. It was bright and comforting, a gentle reminder of possibilities.
But even as I soaked in the rays, shadows crept through my mind, behind the sunshine, behind the tentative optimism, behind the longing for a new beginning. They lingered, silent and persistent, whispering doubts I couldn't easily dismiss.
The events of last night didn't haunt me. They grounded me. I looked at my palms. No tremors. No blood under my nails. I had taken a life and expected the weight of a soul on my conscience, but there was only a humming clarity.
I didn't feel like a monster. I felt like a machine finally plugged in, the gears of my soul finally finding their teeth. Zeno had spent a decade building a weapon, polishing the steel and sharpening the edge. Last night, I had finally been fired.
I wasn’t twisted. I was calibrated.
There was no room for the shame I was supposed to feel. Instead, only the cold, crystalline satisfaction of a tool that had found its purpose remained. I wasn't Zeno's ward anymore. I was the Ghost of Olympus, and I had finally learned to haunt.
There was no room for the shame I was supposed to feel. Instead, there was only the cold, hard satisfaction of having done what was necessary. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Thal. Not now. Not ever.
My feelings for Thal had spiraled beyond my control. The fact that we openly shared our emotions was something we could never take back, and honestly, I didn’t want to.
A fierce, territorial relief surged through me, sharper than any joy. He loved me. That single truth was a dark anchor, heavy enough to keep me from drifting into the abyss of my guilt. I had taken a life, but I had gained his soul. It was a trade I would make every time.
But this love?
It was wild, stormy, fierce, unstoppable.
