Damn it. He’d played on my weak spot.
I wouldn’t deny him that.
“Fine—I admit. Being a role model for that girl has grounded me. A tiny bit.”
“What about marriage? Have you considered it?”
I huffed a laugh. “Oh, puppy. I wouldn’t make anyone a suitable partner.”
His brows rose, and I read the disbelief etched there. “I think you are wrong,” he said with his whole chest.
I hummed, contemplating what that life could look like and only imagining him.
When wedding bells would ring in Helos, my heart would shatter. Because Ihadchanged. Flighty, impulsive, young Elsie might have fought to keep him and selfishly held him for her own whims and comforts.
“I don’t see myself marrying,” I said. “But sometimes it gets lonely living in the moment alone.”
He contemplated me, tongue sliding over his bottom lip in a tempting way.
Pointing a finger lazily at me, he said, “Have you considered cats?”
My mouth dropped open.
“For the loneliness?” he clarified. “I can send some Lynx.”
I pulled a small pillow from behind me and threw it at his head.
He laughed, catching it. “I’m joking. About the last part. I want you to be happy.”
The warmth of his demeanor melted me. For a moment, I let myself believe that we’d sit here every night, that he’d return home to me and we’d have an eternity together.
I cleared my throat. “Have you thought about being a father? I know you already are, but that doesn’t mean you have lost the chance for the life you dream of.”
He seemed conflicted when I chanced a glance at him.
I wouldn’t let him wallow in self-pity for years when he could carry on.
“Plenty. I was an only child. Growing up, I’d always imagined a big family. But right now? That seems a distant desire.”
I cleared my throat. “Why? Why not marry? I could help you find someone fitting.”
This would be so much easier if he’d turn his attention elsewhere.
I’d invite every woman I knew tomorrow if that was what it took. The pretty Luz florist, noblewomen, my friends from a Helos pleasure hall—every single one. Every possibility.
He huffed an indignant laugh. “Stop that.”
“What?” I demanded.
He tipped his head to one side and rolled his eyes. “Nothing. I imagine things a bit differently now. The things I dreamt of before are changing. You pawning me off is just deflecting what you are too scared to admit.”
Emboldened by the kick of liquor, he appeared entirely relaxed.
There was a question in his statement. One I wouldn’t answer.
Not tonight. Likely never.
“Are we ever going to talk about that kiss in the cave?” he asked.
