El’s whole body slackened in relief. “I told him to tell you weeks ago.” She sighed. “You must understand—we have been searching for you for so long. It killed me not to be able to share the truth with you sooner, but as you know, he’s a dick when his mind’s set on something.”
I smiled weakly through tears. “For the time being, can I please stay in your quarters? If not, I may smother him in his sleep.”
“Of course,” she answered while brushing a tear from my cheek with her thumb.
We walked through the halls arm in arm. Fenris’ sister could be flighty, but one thing she wasn’t was cruel or scheming. The hope in her voice when she’d spoken of searching for me warmed my cold shock.
I may have been part of some grand plan for Krait, but Elsedora cared about some of the people closest to me and that was a link in a chain I wouldn’t easily break over a man’s dishonesty.
Other people’s lives were at stake.
Chapter 31
Krait
Anote had been slipped under the bedchamber door when I arrived back that night.
Sybilla is safe but shaken. She’s sleeping in my quarters tonight. I’m proud of you for telling her—she’ll come around. I know it.
-El
It felt wrong not to see the Central Queen curled up in my bed. Most nights, I slipped in after she’d fallen asleep. The rise and fall of her breathing and her little nose whistle had begun to be what lulled me to sleep, and it was hard to drift off without her here.
The look on her face when she’d realized what I’d kept from her had been like a punch to my gut. Before leaving the bell tower quarters, I’d grabbed my list from the drawer, and I scanned it now as I sat up in bed.
The distance between her strengths and faults had shrunk. She came off bullish, but there was a vulnerability to her I’dseen time and time again. There was only one thing that I could possibly add to the list.
VIII. Not ready
How could she be? She’d been failed by the people meant to protect her, by a system in Luz that expected her to marry, and by me, who’d kept the truth from her for far too long. There would be no way she could overcome that. I’d broken the thin layer of trust I’d built.
After shuffling out of bed and crossing the room, I pulled open the bottom drawer of the vanity and shoved the parchment inside. My fists clenched, and I wanted nothing more than to storm into Elsedora’s chamber and make Sybilla talk to me. But that would do no good for either of us.
Instead, I returned to bed to lie on top of the sheets and let the musky, sweet scent of vanilla, tea and lilac envelop me until my eyes grew heavy enough for me to doze.
Sleep was only a temporary reprieve. Hours later, I stared at the dark wood beams of my bedchamber ceiling, trying to will myself to go back to sleep before the sun rose and woke me.
No use.
Groaning, I swung my feet out of bed and ran a hand over my face. After dressing in a brown tunic and dark breeches, I combed my hair and kicked on my boots.
Dawn could only be a few hours away, so I decided to start my day early. The candles in the bell tower wouldn’t relight themselves, and Sybilla’s accusations weighed heavy on myconscience.“Would you have just left Freya to fend for herself against Death?”
I had let Freya die.
My selfish desire to marry her, to deviate from the prophecy, to build some delusional life had killed her.
By pulling Sybilla into this web, I’d endangered her too. That made my throat constrict.
It wasn’t the same.
Freya could have risen to power in Phynx. She could have changed the realms for the better if I’d only left her alone.
Not letting myself linger on those thoughts, I exited my bedchamber and headed toward the east quadrant stairs. Before I’d reached the bell tower, I heard the patter of someone jogging down the hall.
“Krait!” Her tone jolted me. With a robe haphazardly pulled over a nightdress, as though she’d been torn from sleep, Elsedora reached me.
“What happened?” Panic spiked through the dullness of my exhaustion.
