We rode silently in the carriage for just over an hour. The central highlands came into view as we exited the woodlands and headed southwest toward the city of Luz. Sprawling fields, bogs and centuries-old rock formations passed through the carriage window. My eyes stayed fixated on the world outside—it was as mesmerizing as the northern woodlands and almost distracting enough to quell my anxiety.
While my exterior was guarded and silent, internally, my mind shouted at me to face what Fenris had told me that morning.
He and I shared his Source magic; he and I were bound to one another.
I could feel the flames. I’d always been able to feel them.
I’d never glowed like I had in the arena that morning. That was new.Was it due to his nearness, our bond? Was it a defense against him?I was left with more questions than answers.
Amara always warned me to control my emotions.To hide my power.She had often said, “Count backward from ten, my love.”
She made sure I was never idle. My days were filled with training, reading, practicing my potions, tending my greenhouse and using the moonstone to monitor for disruption in each Corridor. Forever busy, forever toiling away at something of “great importance.”
I chanced a glance across the seat at the murderous stranger that I’d let touch me in irrevocable ways. Emmerick stared between us and let his fingers drum against his thigh in discomfort.
My eyes lingered for a moment on the missing ink on Fenris’ arm. Van’s response to me and my commands could not be denied. It unnerved me.
Much to the driver’s dismay, Fenris allowed Vangard to run alongside the carriage. Part of me wondered if Fenris was allowing him to spook the horses to antagonize me into saying something or commanding Van back to his master’s arm. It all seemed like a game to the warlock.
Yet there had been something akin to agony playing across his features when I’d accused him that morning. He’d looked gutted.
Was I simply wanting him to be a better man than he truly was?
“I would sooner kill you than see you go down in a field of flames.”
He was right.I had not considered that my role in wartimes ahead could be anything but good for the realm. This whole journey was a march toward my inevitable death. But that didn’t mean I would die a martyr.I sucked in my cheeks.
Emmerick interrupted my thoughts, looking uneasy as he stared between us. “Either of you care to explain what’s going on here?”
“No.” The answer came in unison with mutual glares.
He mumbled something along the lines of “typical immortal bullshit.”
* * *
When the carriagehalted abruptly in front of the city gates of Luz, a stone archway accompanied by two watchtowers loomed over us.The city gates.My breath caught at the sight of them.
We climbed wordlessly from the carriage. Emmerick paid the driver, and Fenris stalked ahead of us—every muscle in his body tense as he stepped through the archway. He called Van back to him before anyone could see the beast.
My hand found Emmerick’s elbow, holding him back.
“I need to speak with you.” I paused, allowing Fenris to walk ahead. “Privately.”
Emmerick’s interest peaked. “What happened? Did he hurt you?” He was jumping to conclusions. “I’ll have his head on—”
“No, Emmerick—listen.” The Commander now held my elbow too as though our braced arms could prepare him for whatever I was to say. “I am bound to him. It’s why I can control Van. Why he is so…interesting to me. It isn’t wholesome, and our connection may be a danger to the realm.”
Emmerick’s mouth hung agape, but he said nothing.
“I need you to make me a promise. An important one.” I tried to think of the best way to put this very difficult request. I chose the bluntest words for lack of time. “When the time comes, and I ask you to, I need you to kill me.”
His head tilted. “Asterie, kill you? I can’t do—”
“Stop. You can, and you will.” It was unfair to ask this of him, and yet my shoulders pulled tall and my chin tipped upward.
Emmerick stepped back, unlinking our arms, like I’d just dealt him a physical blow.
“I need you to promise to kill me when I ask you to. If I ask, then it is the only way forward in which Luz stands a chance. Please.”
