Had nearly thirty years passed so quickly?
“Indeed.” She paused. “Stranger still is how they both found you, the one who saved them both from horrible fates.”
My hand ran down my face. In the atrium, Asterie showed Emmerick how to feed a giant carnivorous plant a dragonfly. The plant snapped around the insect with force, and Emmerick flinched. Asterie’s lips turned up as though amused by his reaction.
“I see how you look at her—and I don’t condone it.”
“Like a mother hen.” I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t she centuries old? Old enough to consent to my affections if she chooses.”
“It’s not that.” She gave me a stern look. “I don’t condone you lusting over the power within her. I fear you will use her heart against her to get to it.”
I’d been seen as the monster for four centuries—unforgivable even to Amara, my dearest friend. I understood why she doubted my intentions.
The beast that had destroyed a city was under my ward—men, women and children laid out in the streets. Ancient temples fallen, artifacts lost and landmarks laid to rubble. Itwasmy fault. I let Amara’s unease wash past me, attempting to keep calm about what I’d just learned.
“I still don’t understand it, Fen. When I found you that night in Phynx, you looked…shattered. You had so much control over him before then.” She couldn’t help but look down at the ink on my arm. “When Firose told me what you had done…I just, I never believed you capable of it. Will you ever speak of it? I want to understand why.”
I cleared my throat, feeling the familiar constriction there.
A threat.
“I can’t.”
Her gaze met mine with sad familiarity as I continued, “But I’ll make you a promise. Asterie is safe with me. Besides—killing her would just kill me too, right? So my incentive to keep her alive is very high. After all, who loves me more than me?”
My old friend chuckled, and I smiled back. It used to be so easy between us—when I could tell her anything. When she didn’t look at me with sorrow and disappointment.
As Asterie’s strangely beautiful figure flitted about, toiling with the foliage, it struck me that being bound to her didn’t feel wrong.
“Oh. I don’t believe you could kill her if you tried,” Amara quipped as Asterie and Emmerick approached the greenhouse door. “She would bring you to your knees before you ever laid a hand on her. Even without your power in her veins—she was born of something fiercer than even you can handle, my old friend. When you are ready. Whensheis ready, tell her you are bound. It’s a matter to be handled between the two of you.”
* * *
I could seewhy Asterie never considered this place a prison—the food alone might make me question ever leaving.
The tower prepared a dinner of roast chicken and potatoes so mouth-wateringly delicious I almost took thirds. It had been a long time since any meat but venison had touched my tongue.
“So you will travel to Luz tomorrow then?” Amara asked Emmerick.
The boy nodded. “Yes, I’ve sent word to the Queen to expect us. She’ll send a carriage to the nearest road.”
Stiff conversation continued—I watched Asterie push what little remained of her potatoes around her plate with a fork.
After dinner, Asterie led Emmerick and me to our separate bedchambers wordlessly. She seemed fatigued. She and Amara had not spoken much throughout dinner—a tightrope seemed to be pulled between them, each waiting for the other to give. While they didn’t seem uneasy with one another, it was as though the ground was being reshaped, and they were trying to understand their footing—dancing around topics of conversation.
I empathized with the exhausted feeling of too much information all at once, but I still lingered in the room’s doorway. Hopeful.
“I’ve kept something from you.” My words echoed heavily in that stone antechamber. “I had Van follow Lynx to the Wasteland borders. There is a rip in the wards…Amara believes Firose is raising an army from Wasteland defectors.”
Her eyes met mine with a hint of betrayal gleaming there. I should have told them sooner. I’d had a dozen chances, but only when my dear friend confirmed my fears did I feel confident enough in my suspicion.
“Goodnight, Fen.” She turned away abruptly.
I grabbed her tunic sleeve gently, pulling her back to me. I should have clasped my hands behind my back to keep from reaching out to her. But, even after everything I’d just promised my dear friend, I couldn’t help it.
She turned back toward me willingly before melting into my arms as I embraced her.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into her hair. “For how I acted this morning, for all of it.”
