I look up into his eyes. “Hi.”
Damn, I want to melt and break and mold myself into whoever I need to to be his girl. The love I had... still have...hits me hard in my gut. When we were good, I felt like we could conquer the world.
A wave of sadness hits me next. We should be deep in it right now instead of starting all over again. I look down, avoiding his eyes.
“You good?” He asks, lifting my chin with his finger.
“I don’t know.”
“Is it me?”
I bite the inside of my lip. “A little.”
He takes my hand. “Let’s sit down and talk, then.”
I look up at him, surprised at how he’s moving now. The old Javonte avoided problems and conflict. He hated talking and just wanted to brush everything under the rug. This Javonte wants to talk.
He walks me into the cafe and back to the same table we sat at the last time we came. Two fruity teas sit on the table along with two cups of water.
He squeezes my hand before he releases it and pulls out my chair. I try so hard not to smile.
I fail.
“You want to order first?” He asks, his face serious, all business.
“We can talk,” I say, staring at my menu.
“What’s up?”
“I miss you.”
He sits back and grins. “That’s not a bad thing.”
I give him a half-smile. “No, it’s not. It’s just that I wish I didn’t have to miss you. You know?”
His brows furrow and he stares at me. “What do you mean?”
I set my menu down. “I mean, we could’ve been locked in by now if what happened hadn’t happened. I’m kind of mourning what we could’ve had and sad that we have to rebuild.” I look into his eyes. “That I have to learn to trust you with my heart again.”
The realization that flashes across his face almost makes me laugh. “I know I already apologized, Lily, but I want you to know I really do see it now, and I–”
I take his hand. “I know, and I see how you are now. I just wish, you know?”
He nods and runs his thumb along the back of my hand.
“Can we try again?”
His eyes plead with me.
I exhale slowly. “We can try.”
Chapter 23 Javonte
I almost hate myself for the way I’m standing in the mirror right now, turning around and checking out how my outfit looks. This isn’t me. I’m confident. I got this. But I’m going out with Lily to get some smoothies. It’s our first date after she said we could try again. I need it to be right.
I just have on some jeans and a graphic tee. Nothing crazy.
And I’m not sure if it fits the vibe. I try to imagine what she’s wearing today, and I can’t. Lily could wear anything.
