I could see his hands shaking a little as he opened the car door for me.
He didn’t have that same persona we see on TV, the one where he’s always getting into fights and always in the news for something negative. He was just a soft, gentle giant.
And I don’t think he showed that to many people.
I shake that off.
“Do you need something?” I ask.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing. I haven’t talked to you in a while.”
I go quiet. A while and a year are two separate measures of time.
“Why do you want to talk to me now?” I ask.
He sighs into the phone. “I just miss you. My sister took me to Lit with Lily two weeks ago. It put me back in your orbit, and I never wanted to be out of it.”
I swallow.
“I don’t know what to say to that, Javonte,” I tell him honestly. “I was really hurt that night. And I was really hurt for a long time after that. I’ve worked so hard to get past you, and having you show up right now... it makes me feel... I don’t know how it makes me feel.”
I take a breath.
“I’m not going to go rushing back into your arms. I need you to know that.”
“I’m not asking for that,” he says softly.
“Then what are you asking for?”
“Time?”
He says it like a question.
I stay quiet.
“Can I take you out to lunch tomorrow? I know you have something tomorrow evening, but I want to see you. I can pick you up at work and get you back on time.”
I listen to him breathing on the other line. I should say no and hang up.
“Yes.”
“Ok... I’ll be there at 11:55. See you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
I hang up the phone and slump down on the bench in my garage. Where is my inner Porsche when I need her? That was supposed to be a strong no.
I stare at the blank screen on my phone. I waited and checked my phone so many times after everything happened. I waited on his call like a teenage girl, always had my phone on me, jumping at every notification, hoping it was him.
It was never him.
Now, I’m right back herel.
I sigh.
I’ve missed him.
My morning dragged by. I don’t want it to be because I’m excited to see Javonte at lunch, but I am.
