This gave me pause. Perhaps ten years was a very long time for her, but it had been dust in the wind for me. I’d busiedmyself with keeping her alive and happy. This was my first time succeeding with my human for more than a few poorly-attended years, and that, in and of itself, was a victory.
“I have a singular want.”
Her shoulders were too straight once more.
I realized my sentence was more horrifying than a strange man entering her tent unannounced. Then again, I was as pale as the white wolf, and she’d had no reaction. I was not dressed for warmth, but she hadn’t been afraid. Maybe with her, I wouldn’t lie.
“I want to succeed here, where I’ve failed before. The human life is short, and yours has been shorter than most. This time, my lone wish is to keep you alive.”
“This time?” she repeated.
Wind, metallic hum, crackling fire, and the thump of my own pulse made a disquieting symphony between us.
I couldn’t tell if I’d made an error.
I knew her people grew up with legends of the afterlife.
I knew animals were believed to have a soul, and that some souls could return to earth in a new body, should their soul be wholly claimed by the gods of their afterlife and consent to retiring into the endlessness of forever. I knew Eleni would choose me over any regional afterlife. With Yuka, I couldn’t be sure.
I had no authority over this theology or their traditions. Then again, while their gods claimed them, I’d certainly made my stake to her clear. She’d come back time and time again. With any luck, the gods of her people would continue to leave her untouched.
“You’re regarded as a spiritual leader, given your attachment to the guardian wolf,” I said, delicately changing the subject while continuing to address her path in this life. “Is this life fulfilling? Are you happy?”
She didn’t have to think for long. With a small, serene smile, she said, “There is no greater joy than knowing that your existence makes the lives of others better. I can uniquely help my people. With the wolf, or with you, as the wolf’s spirit before me…I am happy.”
I tried not to hold my breath while she was speaking, but my exhale relaxed us both.
“I’d like to help you,” I said.
Unlike our time in Athens, I had no urge to touch her.
She was beautiful, to be sure. But Yuka had no interest, romantic or otherwise, when it came to the flesh. I’d never heard the pattern of her heart increase at the nearness of a human of any gender. She didn’t swear, didn’t grow excited, didn’t blush the way mortals might. Asexuality did not deter her from joy, from community, from fulfillment. It didn’t change a line of mauve or amethyst or white in the shimmering glow of her aura. I didn’t have to taste her soul to know that my greatest pleasure was to be near it. “I’ll be the wolf you need around the people. And at night, we can speak. Ask any question, and I’ll answer, if I’m able. You can be an advisor for your people.”
She considered this. “A line to the spirit world.”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I had the right to. I couldn’t speak to the fallen, or give messages of the afterlife, as one might hope from a spiritual advisor. But we agreed. I would guide her. I would protect her. I would be there for her.
In return, I would not shatter.
“You’ll become a man again? We can speak like this in the future?”
The smile might have reached my eyes, though I couldn’t be sure. “If it pleases you.”
Lines around her eyes crinkled, despite her youth. “It does.”
My reward was the satisfaction of going as long as I could without my heart cracking like the ice beneath our feet, plunging us into the black, arctic abyss.
And, so, it was.
She was Yuka, Wolf Rider.
Under Yuka’s role as anjatuq, shaman in another tongue, women made it through their pregnancies without issue. I tested my abilities to their limits and discovered new ones I’d never had occasion to access.
Anyone who fell ill was better by the next morning.
Her advice was sound, even without the wisdom of her spirit counselor, and never questioned by her people. Her leadership was sovereign and respected. She lived without harassment or threats. Neighboring peoples heard word of her leadership, and at each trading post, our tribe grew. Other nomads visited for medicine or advice, and in the form of the magical wolf, I would brush against them, gifting them with health before they left.
Yuka was beautiful at twenty, and at forty, and at sixty.
