I have to take a moment to gather myself after he calls me their brother. I have never had sisters, but today is as good as any day to learn what it’s like to be an older brother to three girls who love Disney princesses, books, and glitter. Three things that I’m not that familiar with.
“I'm sure they weren't asking for a big brother who's way older than them, but I would like to get to know them one day,” I admit sheepishly.
Reid looks pleased and signals me to follow him. The house is what I always imagined a perfect family home to be. The hallway is filled with family photos, lots of space, warm colors, and inviting decorations. It’s a picture-perfect home if there ever was one.
Even though I should be over the moon about meeting my father, I feel sadness and bitterness creeping in. I’m also angry at my mother, who denied me this for years with her lies and actions. But today isn't the right time for those thoughts. I puton my fake smile and keep following my father for the first time in my life.
“So, would you like to see some photos?” Reid asks and sits down on a couch in their spacious living room. He crosses his legs and runs a hand through his hair like I often do when I’m nervous. It’s odd to spot similarities between us.
“Sure, why not,” I say politely and sit beside him, leaving space between us. It feels different, yet comfortable to be next to him.
“You know, now that you’re a part of the Walters family, it isn’t only me who you’ll meet. Like I told you earlier, you’ve got wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncle, cousins, and other family members from my side. They live all around the country; two of my cousins still live in Omaha.” He hands me his phone, and I take it with shaking hands. “If you swipe right, you’ll see photos from my dad’s, your grandfather’s, 70th birthday party this summer.”
The first photo shows an older couple smiling. I recognize our eyes on the gray-haired woman, and the man beside her shares our body build. I realize I’m looking at my paternal grandparents, and my throat suddenly feels like closing.
“Those are my parents, your grandparents. I told them about you the day I got the test results back, and they can’t wait to meet you.”
“Really?” I ask in a quiet voice. It’s wild that I have an entire family that wants to get to know me.
“Yeah. I’m the oldest of four siblings, and your two aunts in their thirties don’t have children. My brother, your uncle, has two young girls, so you’re the oldest grandchild and the only boy so far. That makes you extra special.”
“I thought simply meeting me after all these years would make me special.”
He laughs for the first time since I arrived, and the deep notes of the emotion sound genuine. “That too, but I didn’t want to state the obvious.”
We spent the next two hours going through every photo from the party. I ask questions about the relatives, learn their basic information, and hear more stories. Based on everything so far, Reid isn’t anything like my stepfathers. And it makes me feel fucking great.
We move to the kitchen as Reid prepares us dinner. Unlike me, he actually enjoys cooking and finds it relaxing.
I turn to the fridge and take out one of those fancy water filter jugs. As I reach for a glass in the cabinet next to the fridge, he asks the question I have been waiting for.
“What happened with Trisha?”
I chuckle, but it lacks any humor. “Where should I even begin? I mean, if you couldn’t tell, I’m not a huge fan of hers. She was never the caring maternal type you assume when talking about a mother. She’s the opposite of Odessa and other dedicated mothers. She was never around, always looking for her next husband while leaving me alone.”
I hear something hitting the table behind me. I’ve a feeling it was his fist. I knew that what I just said was going to upset him, but I had to be honest for him to understand me. I also can’t look at him, not yet. “Well, I would have been alone if not for my uncle and cousins. They helped me until I was placed in the foster system at age fourteen and had to move away fromeveryone I knew in Omaha. But thanks to my uncle, cousins, and two best friends, I still know what having a family means.”
I turn to face him and look into eyes similar to mine. I see all the negative emotions I’m feeling inside too. All the disappointment, pain, and feeling of being left out. The feeling of missing a part of your soul. But I know I had to get those words out.
“I’m still shocked that she did this—keeping you away from me all these years was cruel. I’m sorry if my actions back then caused all this. I had no idea about her being pregnant because if I did, I would have been there for you—” His voice cracks as he says the last word. The tears filling his eyes just moments earlier flow down his cheeks.
It breaks my heart to know that I could have had my father in my life all this time if it wasn’t for my selfish mother. “It isn’t your fault, even if I might have thought differently before meeting you,” I reassure him.
He looks down at his hands, avoiding my gaze. “You must have hated me.”
“Honestly, I thought you were dead for years, so I guess I was disappointed to be one of those kids who never met their father and the other side of the family.”
“I can’t even imagine what that must have been like,” he admits.
“I never even wanted to leave Omaha. It was home, even if Trisha disagreed. At least I had my Uncle Joey and my cousins there growing up.”
“Why were you placed in foster care if you had them in your life?”
That’s a great question, old man.
“Trisha did everything to keep them away from me after the incident…She was married to a recovering alcoholic—his name was Arnold. He was okay to be around until he relapsed one night. He started spitting his hate directed at me as soon as he returned from the bar with his friends. I was so fucking scared. I was fourteen at the time and just a punk kid who loved art.”
I take a deep breath and hope Reid won’t look at me differently after I finish my story.
