“I know. And I am sorry, too, Jax.”
His eyes soften a little. “Yeah, I think you are. Rose has been texting me, telling me to be nice and forgive you already. I guess I can finally tell her that I have.”
“She really cares about you, you know.”
“Yeah, the feeling is mutual,” he says, smiling unconsciously. “I still don’t get why you didn't say anything before tonight. You had plenty of opportunities to do so.”
“I wanted you to remember me first, but I guess that was just a foolish dream,” I admit before pushing myself off the sofa. “I need another drink to continue this conversation. You want anything?”
“No, thanks, I’m fine.”
I bolt to the empty break room and close the door behind me. Leaning against the counter, I take a calming breath and try to control my racing heart. The worst is over. He knows why I couldn’t stand him that night.
The quiet knock on the door interrupts my panic. “Soph, are you okay?”
“No, but I’ll be one day.”
Silence follows my words, and I hear him opening the door. Jax enters the room cautiously and focuses on me, pain and regretin his expression. “We should have had this conversation way before tonight.”
“Yeah, we should have.”
“I recognized you within the first few seconds that night,” Jax murmurs, bowing his head.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wasn’t sure how you would react. I honestly didn’t need more drama at that point.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “And how did that turn out?”
“Don’t even remind me. It’s like every damn decision I make in my life bites me in the ass at some point. If I could go back, I would have contacted you before you hated me.”
“But why didn’t you?”
Jax shakes his head. “I lost my phone the day before our date and without a reminder, I forgot. When I realized what happened, I was ashamed and thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me.”
I look into Jax’s eyes, trying to spot the lie. But he’s being honest; he keeps eye contact and his voice isn’t wavering. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It didn’t help that Eli tore me a new asshole after he found out. I think that’s why I tried to fake it and pretend like I had no idea who you were at Warm’n’Cool.”
“I still can’t believe it.”
His eyes are glassier than before, and I see the pain in them. The same pain I have noticed before in brief moments. “Me either.”
“What the fuck happened to you, Jax? Who made you so damn broken?”
“I would rather talk about anything other than that.”
I nod, understanding his pain. “I get it. It’s hard to talk about things that have fucked up our pasts.”
“Or our present lives,” he whispers painfully.
The way his eyes show all his pain and suffering is too much for me. I can’t see another person in so much pain. No matter what I think of them. My eyes start filling with tears, and I blink rapidly to avoid crying. One of my tears still gets away and runs down my cheek. Jax wipes it off with his thumb and looks at me. All the hate and ill feelings we had towards each other don’t matter now. The only thing that does is we are here, sharing our pain, for one night.
“I can’t believe it’s you and me here right now.”
He catches me off guard with his gentle tone. “It all seems like a dream, doesn’t it?”
“It does. And knowing about how shitty it was that I didn’t call or even text you…I don’t know what to say,” Jax says as he caresses my cheek, smiling sadly. “I would have treated you differently if I knew?—”
