“Uncle Joey, you can use his name. I know things with Arnold didn’t go smoothly, but we need to let go of the past to feel better. It’s been years. It doesn’t help to think about what could have been done differently.”
My uncle lets out a humorless laugh. “I know, but I’m worried your past will haunt you forever. You stabbed your damn stepfather, after all. Even if you were just a teen, and it was self-defense, the events of that night must have left a mark on you. No matter how well you try to hide it all.”
He’s right—there are emotional marks that I can’t erase, like nightmares and random flashbacks. But I can’t show my uncle how his words affect me. He blames himself enough for all the bullshit that happened to me before I turned eighteen and could make my own decisions.
“Don’t you worry about me. It’s all in the past. Trust me.”
“I’ll take your word on it, kiddo. But you know how to get in touch with me if you ever feel like talking about it.”
My uncle stomps out his cigarette and pulls me into his embrace, whispering how he’s glad I’m here with him and his boys. My mother, Trisha, never liked her older brother and tried her best to keep us apart. It worked for a few years when she had me placed in the foster system instead of his care. But thank fuck, I’m an adult now and can decide whom to spend my time with.
I follow Uncle Joey inside and stop on the way to message Tiffany. Using speech-to-text, I send her a short text.
Jax:I’m out with King, Angel, Big O, and Uncle Joey. I should be back before midnight. Don’t wait up.
I sit next to Angel and pretend to check the menu for a moment while anxiously waiting for Tiffany’s reply—she wasn’t too pleased when I left the loft we share. Tapping the table to the beat of a rock song on the restaurant’s radio, I squirm in my seat. My phone vibrates with more than one message. Once the vibration ends, I check my screen and groan—five new messages.
Opening our text conversation, I quietly pronounce the words as I read them. Because of my dyslexia, it helps me to read messages aloud. I learned that trick in high school, but giventhat I’m in a public place, I try to do it without drawing any attention to myself.
Tiffany:I wouldn’t wait even if you asked
Tiffany:I’m still mad at you *angry emoji* *angry emoji*
Tiffany:So fucking mad
Tiffany:I’ll spend the night at my friend’s
Tiffany:Don’t wait up tomorrow, asshole *middle finger emoji*
When I left our place an hour ago, Tiffany was shouting how it’s upsetting that I want to spend time with other people instead of her during our day off. She didn’t seem to understand that I wanted to be with my family since I rarely see them. According to her,she’smore important than my family. Sure. Whatever. There’s nothing I can do as she thinks I’m wrong, not her. Never fucking her.
I spend enough time with Tiffany as it is. Besides living together, we work at the same tattoo shop five days a week. I was the one who got her the job as the shop’s receptionist. We needed someone to help me when our previous guy left to spend more time with his kids on short notice. Tiffany had lost her latest job a week earlier, and I made the decision with my dick instead of my head. And that’s how my girlfriend became the receptionist and my assistant.
Everything was fine until a month ago. She’s been acting out lately, making me wonder if this is what I want from life—a partner who doesn’t trust me. I’ve caught Tiffany going through my phone more than once. She also sends me multiple messages every time I go out with friends, asking if I’m still coming home for the night. She often wants to know if I’m hanging out with any female friends, which includes Rose, my close friend who’s also my best friend Eli’s girlfriend. Tiffanyseems to think the worst of me, which grates on my nerves, as I’ve been a good, loyal boyfriend. And I would never cheat.Never.
My inner dialogue is cut short by two of my cousins discussing the latest Marvel movie. Uncle Joey laughs and listens to what his sons have to say.
“Man, it was the bomb, I’m telling you,” Angel tries to convince his older brother.
King shakes his head disapprovingly. “No fucking way, it was below their normal standards. Like, what was that ending about?”
“But dude, it was the best part! Did you miss the second half of the movie or something?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” King huffs.
My cousins keep bickering until I wave my hands. “Let’s wait for Big O. He’ll be the one to judge this debate as I haven’t seen it yet.”
They both turn to look at me.
“You haven’t seen it?” Angel asks.
I shake my head in answer. My cousins seemed to have forgotten that I’m more of a DC guy. I know they all love Marvel more.
“What did I miss,again?” I hear my youngest cousin asking from behind me. I had no idea he was standing right there.
I tell him what we were talking about, and he agrees with Angel that the movie was phenomenal. King pouts for a while, and we all get into an easy conversation after. It’s like I was never away from them.
We finally order our food—I get a specialty cheeseburger and fries with Diet Coke, which always cheers me up—and talk about Angel’s upcoming work trip to Las Vegas. There’s a family joke about how things don’t stay in Vegas since Uncle Joey got married there.
