“So…just tonight?” I croak out, making sure I understand her correctly.
“Get it out of our system, then back to business as usual.”
We’ve spent the last twenty minutes nursing our undrunk whiskey, discussing what “usual” would look like. Daisy’s a pro at compartmentalization, so she laid out the terms. The museum would remain the priority. Also, we wouldn’t have sex again, which would minimize further complications with me living here—all the more reason to make sure I don’t mess this up.
Tonight only, and only tonight.
My chest aches knowing that this is the only way Daisy would ever want me: a single night, a memory as transient as my time in Harlow.
“You can tell me no,” she says. “But if we’re both feeling some attraction, and we’re both curious, then we don’t have to put the pressure of a relationship on ourselves, or anything beyond one night. But once we know what it’s like being with the other person, we can stop imagining it.”
“And…” I turn the idea over in my head, trying to understand where Daisy’s coming from. “It wouldn’t be this big unknown anymore.”
“Exactly. Not a missed opportunity. Just…a reality of our friendship.”
“What if you regret it?” I ask.
“Would you?”
“If I hurt you, I would.”
I let Daisy down once in my life, and I never want to again. She has only ever been mine in the wild imaginings of my mind, so as much as I might want this, I don’t want to douse our friendship in gasoline and throw a match over my shoulder. With realityknocking, all the reasons we shouldn’t do this have me second-guessing.
“What about you?” I ask once more. “Would you regret this? Me?”
“No, but I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
Would one night with her be what I need? Maybe I’ve unknowingly placed Daisy on a pedestal all these years, and I could learn something from the way she packs her feelings away. With all the women I’ve dated, I knew in my heart that I held back from them. Breaking up and staying friends was easy because there was always a niggling part of my brain wondering, wishing…
If I close the door on that for good, then maybe I could move on.
“Okay.” My heartbeat pounds like a drum in my ears. “But if it gets too intense, then we stop. No questions asked.”
“Agreed.” She nods. “And no matter what, we stay friends.”
“No more six-year silences?”
A smile plays on her lips. “Deal.”
The joy and terror of the unknown swallow me. We won’t be able to go back to who we were before tonight. But I’ve always kept my emotions in check with past girlfriends and hookups, and I tell myself Daisy doesn’t have to be any different.
“So should we…?” She looks at the couch we’re on.
“Eager.”
“Max,” she says with a laugh, rolling her eyes.
“I get it. No time like the present.”
She smacks my arm. “I just figured I’ll call a food order in, we can do our thing, and we’ll have a delicious pizza waiting for us once we’re done.”
“Already planning the post-sex meal? Thorough.”
“Thank you.”
“But what makes you think this will take the twenty minutes tops it takes for a pizza to get here?”
She stutters out a tense laugh. I’m not joking, though, and when I don’t reply, she goes quiet. What guys has she been with if she expects to wrap things up, start to finish, in under half an hour?
