Chapter Seven
Owen
I know that the guys are up to something the instant that I step into the locker room. They’re standing in a group facing me, wearing shit-eating grins.
I haven’t even made it three steps inside, and I can already tell I’m not in control of whatever this is. That used to be funny. Today, it just makes my shoulders tighten.
“Welcome back,” Viktor says through the shit-eatingest grin of them all. “We got you a welcome-back present.”
I stop in my tracks and plant my feet. My flight response kicks in. I’m not usually on the receiving end of the legacy players’ pranks, but if they’ve all worked together to do, well, whateverthisis, then it’s entirely possible that their present is either alive, booby-trapped, or highly flammable. It sure as hell better not be all three.
“Actually,” Tristan corrects, “it’s for your new shadow. We wanted to make her job a little easier.”
I swallow hard. “Please do not piss off my hand-picked by Dante crisis manager.”
I mean it more than I want to. The last thing I need is another reason for people to think I can’t keep my shit together.
Adler chuckles. “We wouldnever.”
“Never,” Lenyx echoes. “That’s your job.”
Viktor claps his hands. “Show him the gift basket, boys.”
The team parts, revealing an enormous wicker basket stuffed with… baby crap?
For a second, I stare at it, trying to catch up. My brain’s stuck somewhere between the clip, the suspension, and the feeling that I’m walking into every room half a step behind.
Bowen pats the jumbo pack of newborn diapers that takes up half of the basket. “These are to help your babysitter deal with all of your shit.”
Lenyx reaches into the basket and pulls out a onesie that saysBiggest Baby Ever.“Here’s a little something for your wardrobe.”
Adler shows off a pack of silicone bibs ala Home Shopping Network. “These should help keep you from getting messy at mealtimes.”
“There’s a sippy cup for your juice,” Bowen says, no longer able to keep a straight face. “It even has handles.”
Tristan pulls out a six-pack of binkies. “And there’s something for her to stick in your mouth whenever she wants you to shut the fuck up. Which is 24/7.”
I stare as they parade out baby toys, reusable heating pads, and teethers.
“Hold on,” I interrupt. That wicker basket belongs in a magician’s magic show. Every time I’m convinced it’s empty,wait, there’s more!“Did you guys honestly buy, like, a thousand dollars’ worth of baby supplies just to troll me?”
They all burst out laughing, though I have no idea why. I laugh with them, because that’s what you do, but it doesn’t land the same way it usually does. Like I’m a fraction out of sync with everything around me.
They could have at least included a bag of Cheetos.
Viktor wraps an arm around me and gives me a playful jostle that’s rough enough to make my neck pop. “Nah. The look on your face was priceless, though.”
I’m still lost. “So what’s the deal?”
Viktor points an index finger toward the locker room door. “Wait for it.”
Nothing happens.
“Um.” I scratch the nape of my neck. “How long should I be waiting, exactly?”
Viktor checks his smartwatch, which happens to be attached to the arm that’s still draped around my neck, which means that he has to put me in a chokehold to check the time. “Aaaaany minute now.”
At last, the locker room door opens. Cam steps in, leading a frazzled Knight.
