Now the five of us kept close together under the blanket of shadow, moving down the too quiet hallway in Lawrence Hall as rainy wind moaned outside and rattled the old windows we passed. We encountered no one, and there was no hint that Cruelty and Violence knew we’d left our rooms.
“We need to go right,” I whispered, when we pushed our way through a back door, my hoodie immediately drenched as rain lashed through the magic and into my skin. I shivered. Shouldn’t one benefit of a magical shield be to keep out the elements? “Into—” I sighed. “Milton Hall. Of course Tor’s in there.”
I hadn’t sensed him at all at the Bridestones House, but the moment we stepped foot on Ford campus, I felt him. Distant, and just out of reach, butthere.It wasn’t clear enough to get a good sense of what our bond would be, what his soulfeltlike, but there was an undeniable tug in my chest. Sluggish and light, but enough for me to guide us around the back of Lawrence Hall and down the side of Milton Hall, to where the mausoleums watched over the back entrances.
I reached out to Miz as we passed his tomb, lacing my fingers with his.
“I’m serious,” Madde whisper-hissed. “There’s something suspish about that hedge. It’s hiding something.”
“We don’t have time to investigate it now,” Pain replied quietly. “And once we’ve got Tor, we’ll have no reason to stay, so the hedge can be as suspicious as it likes.”
Death put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to shield me from the downpour, the sweet scent of him wrapping around me and calming the frazzled edge of my stress for a moment. I didn’t ask what would happen if we didn’t find Tor or couldn’t get to him. I didn’t want the universe to hear me and take it as a challenge.
“We’d better get inside,” Madde urged, scanning the stretch of wind-blown grass, the stalwart figures of the mausoleums, and that damn hedge. “Before Cruelty’s gooners find us.”
A laugh exploded from me, loud enough that I clapped a hand over my mouth.
“Goons,” Miz stressed, a hand over his face.“Goons,Madness.”
Madde shrugged, joining Pain at the door, a dark veil of magic concentrated over the handle. “What’s the difference?”
“Got it,” Pain breathed, his fingers splayed in front of him. When he flicked his wrist, the lock clicked, and he quietly eased the door open. “Cat, remember—”
“To stay in the middle of you all, I know,” I whispered. I could shift into my jaguar and use my fangs and claws, but it was sheer luck that I’d survived against Cruelty. I couldn’t hold my own in a fight against herandViolence.
And after what happened in the manor, I wasn’t sure I could do this without them all around me. I’d try. I’d walk over hot coals to save Tor, but could I physically do it when every step into Milton Hall had me struggling to breathe, every slash and bruise and cut on my body roaring into sharp relief?
“Upstairs,” I whispered, my hand on my chest as I pushed through the haunting memories to focus on that tug to my husband, hoping it would grow stronger and disappointed whenit remained a ghostly echo of sensation. What if this was all a trick? What if we reached the end of the tether and it wasn’t Tor there, but Violence?
The walls closed in on me as Miz took the lead, using his knowledge of the building from when he stalked me to guide us from hallway to hallway. Every blind spot, every right-angle turn could hide the god of violence, ready to drive his fist into my ribs again. He would smile when they shattered. Again. I could hear my own screams echoing in my ears, so when Death whispered, asking if I was alright, I jumped.
“Cat,” he murmured, taking my hand and holding tight.
“I’m fine,” I lied, scanning the old corridor ahead of us, trying to hide my fear that Violence lay in wait in the recessed doorways. Or maybe one of the paintings that lined the bare stone walls to either side of us had a secret viewing hole where he could watch us. “Turn right here,” I prompted, trying so hard to ground myself in the present and not slip into the numbness.
But the numbness was absent the pain and fear that followed every step I took through the Ford building. The numbness promised relief, and it was tempting even if it wasn’t real. A gunshot cracked through the silence, and I jumped hard, whipping around with thin tendrils of shadow bursting from each of my fingers.
“It’s just the wind,” Pain breathed with aching kindness. I felt his soul squeeze, as if my panic hurt him, too. “It’s just branches on the windows.”
My shoulders slumped and I exhaled a ragged sigh. He was right. My fear was exaggerating every sound, every feeling of danger. “Sorry,” I whispered.
“Shush.” Madde spun to tap the tip of my nose. “No sorrys allowed. Got it?”
I tried to smile. “Got it.”
He tucked a lock of damp hair behind my ear and said, “I like your shadows, Lioness. Maybe we could play with them one time. I’d looksopretty tied to a bed—”
“Madde,” Death cut in, his voice pitched low. Because we’d stopped in the middle of Milton Hall, right in the open where anyone could come across us. My breathing went shallow, raw. “Maybe save your ideas for later?”
“Roger that.” Madde saluted. “Is that dusty old staircase the one we’re looking for?” he added, peering over Misery’s shoulder at the steps worn in the middle, so many they disappeared into darkness above our heads, the window’s light not enough to illuminate them.
I nodded, and swallowed, forcing my panic down with it. I didn’t do a good job of it; anxiety had taken hold and refused to be denied. It cut the air supply to my lungs to a thin stream and knotted my stomach until I felt sick. But I lifted my jellied leg and took a step. A declaration, a decree to my fear that it couldn’t beat me, a message to Violence that he wouldneverkeep me from my men. Not the real Violence and not the memory of him that was so acute I felt him breathing down my neck.
He’s not here,I hissed at myself, and jolted when Madde’s voice coursed through my mind, followed by the sensation of my soul being bound up in a fiery hug.
If he so much as looks at you, I will rip his head off and shove it up his asshole.
A flicker of a smile crossed my face, even as Miz jerked his chin for us to follow him up the stairs and my nerves sharpened.
