“Hannah Dorada, if you are what he considered weak, then goddamn was he out of line.” He dips his head to catch my gaze. “You are the strongest woman I have met in my entire life. I have yet to meet anyone who has been through what you have been through and come out on the other end so kind and so—” He shakes his head, searching for the word.
“Sad?” A pitiful laugh escapes me.
“Grounded,” he says softly. “And compassionate. And good. And?—"
I don’t let him finish, and I don’t let any of these damn insecurities and anxieties stop me either. I quiet him and my spiraling thoughts by placing my lips on his and it feels like coming home. Finding home.
The kiss is slow and exploratory. No speeding or fumbling, just slow honey thick tension we have been swimming in for weeks now. Tongues and lips work in tandem with my moans, his sighs, and the rain that isn’t relenting. His lips smile against mine before we both break away for air.
“I think that breaks at least one of your rules.” His chuckle rumbles against my heart. That damn necklace that I love presses into my cheek as his arms wrap around my shoulders.
“I said no almost kissing. I don’t think I said anything about actual kissing.”
A crack of thunder causes me to flinch, and for Tanner to hold me closer.
“You should go,” I tell him. “You need to sleep and I need a shower.”
He dips his head, meeting his lips with mine once more beforeturning to his truck. Only when I turn back toward the apartment do I see Winnie’s little face pressed up against the balcony door, her breath fogging the glass.
“So, is he your boyfriendnow?” she asks when I come back inside, dripping wet.
I wring my hair out with a kitchen towel. “It’s starting to look like that, isn’t it?”
27
Once the rain clears after our late dinner of SpaghettiOs, I take Winnie to the pet store in Marnmouth. She picks pink rocks, a big glass bowl and a little figurine set of a couch and a coffee table.
By the time we get back home, the fish is still kicking. We change his bowl and move him into his “new place” as Winnie calls it.
I go through the motions because all I can think about is that kiss. It lived on my lips as I followed Winnie around the aisles of the pet store. Nodding along as she explained each of her choices of tank decor.
I should be slamming on the brakes, reminding myself I’m here to focus on Lauren, but when Tanner shows back up at my door, showered and smelling like I need to run my hand through his hair and down his shirt, I have a feeling it’s over for me.
He has two bags filled with ice cream in his hands and all I can think about is when I am going to get to kiss him again.
“Alright. Mom said you guys like chocolate. So, I brought options, including one of my favorites.” Tanner lifts out a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. “It’s called Phish Food, but it’s not actuallyfish food, nor is there any fish in it,” he says to Winnie, but I can hear the genuine reassurance in his voice as I stifle a laugh. “I also got these in case you didn’t like the sound of that one. Oh, and a bag of frozen peas. You know, to be a little healthy.”
He unloads the bags onto the counter while Winnie looks on with an expression I can only describe as awestruck. He has bought more Ben and Jerry pints than three people could, or should, eat. He even brought toppings. Marshmallows, fudge, chocolate shell, cherries, and whipped cream.
“I was hoping that if you weren’t feeling good, this would cheer you up. And if you were feeling better, then you would enjoy it even more. Which one do you want?”
She points at the Phish Food. “Me and Fish-Tanner can match.”
Tanner looks over to the fishbowl, and his eyes widen with what looks like genuine excitement. “Fred, did you give his place a makeover?”
Winnie nods feverishly, popping up and down. “Yep. And now he has a couch to watch shows with us. And pink rocks.”
“It looks like a great place to call home.” He gives her a wink. “What toppings do you want?”
“All of them.” She smiles, and he doesn’t miss a beat. He scoops and pours every option onto her now overflowing bowl before she finds her spot on the couch.
When Ethan showed me a kindness, never like this but something resembling this, it always ended in a wager he could throw back later. He would hold any said kindness over my head. So, at some point I stopped believing in kind gestures as being simply that. Something you wanted to do for someone to be kind, I learned to see it as manipulation. A way to soften me in the moment and break me later. But with Tanner, he has yet to throw it back at me or expect anything in return. All he wants is for me to give this a real chance.
“Now what do you want.” He nods at the ice cream pints.
My eyes linger on his lips and then I drop them to the actual options in front of me.
“Whatever you’re having.”
