I let out a shaky breath I am sure he hears on his end.
Soon, I am drifting back off again with my phone pressed to my ear. It’s not until the credits roll that I wake up and see the phone call hasn’t ended.
“Han?” he asks sleepily as I shuffle off the couch.
“I'm just getting in bed.”
“You’re welcome in mine,” he laughs gently, sounding half asleep too.
“Very funny.”
“I would never joke about that. We both know it’s a serious offer. So was panty sorting.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it and tuck myself under the covers.
“Hannah?”
“Tanner?”
I can hear his sigh through the phone. “I’m really sorry. I should have told you.”
“Yes. You should have.”
There’s a pause on the other side before he clears his throat. “You’re my best friend.”
With his words I wonder if maybe I am, in fact, his. Not just his friend, but reallyhis. Even a just a little bit.
“You’re mine too,” I admit into the dark.
And with this revelation, I wonder if maybe I’m trying to balance too much. Yet again, my heart is on the line and divided at that. Pieces being split amongst the people I love, and that unsteady fear creeps up as I fall asleep. The fear that I can’t give Tanner what he deserves. He deserves a whole heart, not my broken one.
22
Ileft Winnie alone on the balcony for all of five minutes to get a drink, and I come back to her leaning against the banister, talking to someone below, yet again.
The sight of the mustached man sends butterflies fluttering around my stomach like a teenager, and the sight of me sends a smile stretching across his face.
“Hey Han,” he calls up. “Your girl and I are just making dinner plans for tonight.”
Winnie is smiling over at me, eyes filled with hope.
“Winnie—”
“We decided on you guys coming over for dinner at my place so Winnie can check in on her sheep.”
“Hersheep?” I ask.
“So, I’ll see you in an hour?” He nods and before I can respond he slips into the cab of his truck.
He’s smiling as he drives away.
“Oh Winnie, my girl.” I shake my head and settle my conflicted heart. “You are quite the wing woman.”
“I don’t have wings.” She frowns, then returns to her coloring book at the table.
An hour later I am pulling up Tanner's driveway, and I don’t even come to a full stop before Winnie is throwing off her seat belt.
“I see them!” she squeals and the moment I unlock her door, she is out running across the grass to the flower-lined pen.
