I watch the two as they take turns drinking from the hose stream and laughing when it splatters all over their faces.
“Dinner!” Lauren calls out the back door.
Winnie darts ahead, leaving Tanner and I in the dust.
We bump arms and keep on not fully addressing whatever the hell is going on between us.
“Mommy lost the football game.” Winnie announces to Lauren and Rhett as she plops into her chair. “And I drank from the hose.”
“Have you never done that before?” Rhett asks.
“Nope.” She shrugs. “But Tanner said it tastes better.”
I peek a glance over at him and he winks at her.
After dinner, we end up sitting on the front porch, procrastinating our departure. Storm has found her way over and is on her back, getting belly rubs from Winnie. The birds have quieted and are replaced by the croaking frogs and chirping crickets. Dusk has settled over the quiet street as I lean against the banister, breathing in the summer breeze.
“I’m sorry.” Tanner leans down and rests his arms next to me.
“For what?”
“For kissing you on the cheek in front of Winnie. I wasn’t thinking.”
I chew on the inside of my lip and meet his gaze. “She never saw her dad kiss me, I don’t think. Not that she would remember. I bet she was just shocked someone showed me affection like that.”
“Still, I know kids are impressionable, and I know we are…”
His voice trails off with the wind. Because what are we? Are there even words for what this is?
“I wouldn’t have run with the ball if I didn’t want you to catch me,” I admit quietly.
I can feel the weight of his questioning eyes on me now.
“No more honesty for the night,” I tell him.
Once Winnie yawns, we all say our goodbyes, and I can feel that kiss on my cheek until I fall asleep on the phone with Tanner for the first time all week.
20
“That’s it.” Lauren pushes up from my kitchen counter. “I'm getting you out of the house for the night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You just talked to me about the price of juice boxes here compared to back in Illinois for ten minutes.” She picks up her phone. “You need to go somewhere other than the grocery store. Do you trust Mayben to babysit?”
“I mean yeah, but?—”
“Okay, good.” She presses the phone to her ear, then points at me. “Go put on something cute.”
I open my mouth to argue but I close it when it’s obvious Mayben has already answered. Ethan never wanted me to get a babysitter other than my parents, and even that was rare. Even the one time I proposed having Sebastian and Gigi over to watch her so I could go get a haircut, Ethan shut it down so fast I knew to never ask again.
Maybe I should fight this a little harder, but maybe she’s right. Maybe I do need to get out of the house. It feels like karma for when I showed up at her doorstep in Chicago almost two yearsago making her go out too. The night Tanner and I ended up on a stage singing karaoke.
I throw on a pair of black denim shorts and a matching tank top that makes my boobs look good because what the hell is Ethan going to do.
“Mayben is in, and you look hot,” Lauren says plopping onto my bed. “You better do that curly thing with your hair.”
“That curly thing with my hair?”
