“She also thinks that sunscreen lotion is better than sunscreen spray,” Winnie adds.
“And what do you think?” Tanner asks her like this is a very serious question he needs her answer to. “Which do you prefer?”
It’s like an out of body experience as I watch the two talk. He knows all the questions to ask, and Winnie is happy to oblige even the silliest of ones he can think of. They laugh and the warm wind blows, the singing birds chirp, the summer bugs buzz, and the remaining streaks of sunlight cast over us, drenching us in sweat and evening light.
Once we finish eating, and after another story about Poppy and another girl, Ava, Tanner stands, collects our paper towels, the now empty box of pizza, our empty beer bottles and slips inside.
“Mommy, I like Tanner,” Winnie says climbing up to sit with her legs under her.
“Oh, do you?”
“Yup. He’s funny.” She sighs and pokes her fingers through the metal grate of the table. “I decided I want a sister. And maybe a brother too, but I want a sister to start.”
“A sister to start?
“Yeah. You have a sister. And Tan has a sister. I could be like you guys.”
A moment later, Tanner reappears with two fresh bottles of beer and a juice box.
“Do you need me to open it?” Tanner asks her and she shakes her head then opens it herself.
“When did you learn to do that?”
“Today. Mrs. Maryanne showed me. Can I go watch T.V. now?”
“Sure, you need help?”
“Nope. I can do it by myself.” She pushes off her seat and heads inside.
“Sorry. I don’t know when she turned into a teenager, but it must have been sometime in-between drop off and pick up today.”
“She’s outstanding.” Tanner shakes his head. “I mean, she’s related to you, so I knew she’d be great, but wow. She is the coolest kid I have ever met.”
“She is a quandary.”
“What do you mean?”
“That confidence? I have never had an ounce of that,” I admit. “I’ve always been one to hide. Blend into my surroundings. I was always pulling Lauren into hiding with me. Winnie though? She isn’t scared of anything.”
“You absolutely do not blend into your surroundings.” Hesays it so matter-of-factly that I almost believe him. “Especially that first night in Chicago.”
I shake my head and sip my beer. “That was a version of me who thought I would never see any of those people again. That was not me.”
Tanner leans his arms onto the rickety table. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“What do you mean youdon’t believe it?”
“Nobody just gets up and does karaoke like that and doesn’t mean it. You may not boss every room around, but Hannah, each one sure as hell does revolve around you.”
My stomach swirls at those words. I may not believe them, but I believeTannerbelieves them and that’s enough for me in this moment.
“There wasn’t any room for Winnie at the Y. When I signed her up, I assumed they had saved a spot for her. But today they said she was an extra,” I say but Tanner only nods, not acknowledging his part in it. “How did you pull that off?”
“With a please and thank you.”
“That’s it? You swear you didn’t pay them?”
He crosses his heart with his finger. “I swear I didn’t pay them.”
