She leaps off the bed in an instant and makes a beeline for the kitchen.
The lobby of the Y is buzzing when we enter. I see Riley up ahead, signing kids in. She meets my eyes and waves me over.
“Come on Win.” I keep my hand tightly around hers as we wind through kids saying hello to their friends and parents chatting amongst each other. I see a little girl next to Riley with the same bright blue eyes.
“Winnie.” Riley kneels with a big smile. “This is my daughter, Poppy. Poppy this is Winnie, the little girl I was telling you about. She’s going to be in your group with Mrs. Maryanne.”
“Do you like drawing?” Poppy asks Winnie.
Winnie, suddenly shy, looks at me for an answer.
“Do you?” I nudge her with my hip.
“I do,” Winnie squeaks. “I got an art set for my birthday.”
“Winnie, this is for you.” Riley hands Winnie a bright purple shirt. “Sorry, it was the only size we had left.”
Winnie excitedly slips it on, and it falls just above her knees, and swallows her whole.
“If you want to say goodbye to your mom, Poppy can show you to your group. They are starting with basketball in the gym this morning.”
Winnie whips her head up to me, and when I expect her to cry, she doesn’t. She smiles big and wraps her arms around me. Thenbefore I can even say goodbye, she is running hand in hand with Poppy off to the gym.
The lump in my throat rises again and Riley must sense it because she reaches over and touches my arm.
“She’s in good hands. I promise. Maryanne has worked here for over thirty years.”
I force a smile and a thank you before shuffling back through the families to my car. I keep it together until I’m parked in front of the diner. I hadn’t even really planned on coming here but I suddenly needed a lot of carbs and coffee.
The tears come quickly, and I feel like I have just abandoned my child. Of course, my logical side is in there somewhere telling me that I didn’t, but all I can think about is that this means she is growing up and I’m not anywhere near ready for that. I wipe my tears and try to breathe, but the knock on my window nearly launches my heart out of my chest.
Tanner stands there with his big brown eyes filled with concern. I roll down my window and shrug my shoulders.
“Mornin’.” He leans his arms on the windowsill.
“Morning.” I curse my wavering lip.
“How did drop off go?”
“Good. She ran right off. Didn’t cry or anything.”
He smiles so softly that it makes more tears begin to fall but he catches them with his thumb as he swipes gently at my cheek.
“Hey, hey.” He drops his eyes to catch mine. “Let me buy you a coffee. No ulterior motive.”
I can’t help but laugh and let him open my door and help me out. When we walk in, he waves at Mayben.
“Coffee please,” he calls out to her, then leads me to a booth in the back corner. “Oh, and pie. She needs some Morton’s pie.”
Before we even sit, Mayben is there at our table with two mugs, a carafe of coffee, and a single piece of pie. She smiles with the same softness as Tanner and slips away without a word.
“I'm sorry,” I sigh, using the napkin from my silverware to wipe my eyes as he pours us each a cup of coffee.
“For what?”
“For making a scene.” I let out a pathetic laugh, but he doesn’t join me.
“You could have been smashing your steering wheel and you still wouldn’t owe anyone an apology.” His jaw clicks as he schools his expression. “Tell me about your day so far. The boring parts too.”
