“How’s Gigi?” I ask and he shrugs again.
I’ve only ever met Gigi on a handful of occasions. She’s a lawyer at the Forrest firm that his parents set him up with. She’s on track to become one of the youngest judges in the state ofIllinois. She’s successful and accomplished and all together perfect for the Forrest family.
“She’s working a ton.” His eyes drop to his beer.
Sebastian is a handsome guy, big and broad shouldered. Being a lawyer never did seem to suit him. Especially not a lawyer at the Forrest Law Firm. The Forrests are rigid and cold. Though Sebastian comes off quiet and distant at times, he’s compassionate. The black sheep of the family, or maybe the only white lamb left to the slaughter.
“But it’s been okay.” He sighs and leans on the counter, scratching a hand over his beard. His eyes drift over to the bowl. “I really need to know about the fish.”
I laugh and open the bag and let the fish free into its new home. “Winnie got one from the fair. Then it died and I didn’t want her to come home to it being dead. Let’s sit on the balcony.” I wave for him to follow me before he questions the massive bouquet of flowers on the counter. “I don’t think I can look at a goldfish for a minute longer.”
We sit across from each other, and I try to ignore the similarities in him and Ethan. On Sebastian, the same features seem softer. Gentler. Less severe. The striking gaze of his blue eyes are softened by thick long lashes. His sharp jaw softened by a beard and his hair is curly to Ethan’s slicked back straight. But still, those Forrest genes lurk in the shape of his nose and penetrating gaze.
“It’s beautiful up here,” he notes. “I really needed out of the city.”
“You could move here too,” I tell him as a half joke.
He leans back in his chair. “Areyouthinking about moving here?”
“Maybe. Lauren is having a baby, and I just can’t imagine leaving her.”
I leave out the Tanner part, even though after this weekend, the truth is that it may be the biggest factor now.
Sebastian shifts uncomfortably in the metal chair and it’s now that I notice his lack of eye contact. He’s looking over out at the parking lot like he’s looking for something. Courage maybe?
“I didn’t come here just because I was passing through,” Sebastian admits finally. “I talked to Ethan.”
Fear begins crawling up my neck in an instant. That old uneasy anxiety that had lived in my chest under Ethan’s roof is suddenly flooding my nervous system.
“What Sebastian? What is it?” I am ready to shake the words out of him.
“He is going to petition for visitation rights of Winnie. And may even eventually seek partial custody.” He rubs the scruff at his jaw. “Hannah, I’m afraid he might take you back to court.”
37
The air is pulled from my lungs so quickly that tiny black spots prick at my vision. The only things I can sense are the echo of my heartbeat in my chest and the taste of bile in the back of my throat.
“I am so sorry,” Sebastian says somewhere in front of me. “I didn’t think he would ever try something like this. I just wanted to give you a heads up, so you weren’t blindsided.”
I want to tell him this is still very much a blind-side. That no matter how many nights I have sat awake fearing this exact moment, it still comes as a surprise. Before I can tell him that, a squeal cuts through the air. I’m swimming in deep water and my feet and arms can’t seem to keep me above the surface long enough to breathe. The three come up stairs, Winnie hugs Sebastian, and then launches herself into my arms and all I can do is pull her deeper into my chest and meet Sebastian’s sorry expression over her shoulder.
How is this even possible? Why would Ethan even bother after all this time? All these years he never showed an ounce of interest in being a husband or a father. Why now, when he had the entire divorce to fight my request for full custody.
“Han.” Paul nudges me. “Are you okay? Winnie is asking you something.”
I shake my head and pull back to meet Winnie’s expectant gaze. “Yes, sorry. What is it bug?”
“Where’s Tan? I have a present for him.”
I look down at her hands and she’s holding a hat. A Chicago Cubs baseball hat. “It’s like my shirt. The one he packed in my bag at the hosi-bull.”
“I—he’s at work. He might stop by later and you can give it to him,” I assure her. “He will love it.”
“Okay. I will put it next to Fish-Tanner until I give it to real-Tanner.” She climbs off my lap.
“Who’s Tanner?” Sebastian asks causing Winnie to scoff.
“Mom’s boyfriend. Duh.” She spins to go back inside. Mom and Paul must sense something, and they follow in after her.
