“Of course not,” I say a little weakly. It’s not what Ithink. It’s my biggestfearwhen it comes to her, and suddenly it feels like now that the words are out there floating between us…maybe it’s not so far-fetched.
She spins on her heel and heads back to her room to finish getting ready as I stand in the kitchen wallowing in the fact that I really fucked that one up.
“You look beautiful,” I say once she emerges from her room.
“Thanks,” she mutters.
I walk over to her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry we had a fight. Let’s just put it behind us.”
“I can’t,” she says thickly, and it’s the first alarm bell ringing in my mind that tells me that maybe, just maybe…we won’t make it past this.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re sorry we had a fight. You’re not sorry that you withheld information from me. I need to feel chosen, Ford. I need to feel like we’re a team. Like we’re making decisions together. Archer kept enough shit from me, and look at how that ended. I don’t need it from you, too.”
“You’re right,” I say. “And I’m sorry about all of it. I’ve spent my entire adult life waiting for the opportunity to choose you. Trust me. It’s you.”
“You said my business isn’t a cash cow, though. It feels like you don’t take me seriously as a businesswoman, and that hurts.”
“How can you say that?” I practically roar. “I’ve spent the last week helping you with your business. I’ve automated systems and created strategies. I cleared out your inbox. I believe in you. In us.”
She presses her lips together and brushes some hair off her forehead. “Maybe I’m too much of a dreamer and you’re too practical. The things I want may feel unrealistic to you, but it’s who I am.”
My breath catches in my throat as she heads toward the door. It’s not like this conversation is over if she walks out. We’re driving to the manor together.
She jabs at the elevator call button as I join her in the hallway.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” I ask.
She folds her arms across her chest. “I don’t know. Today doesn’t much feel like love is enough.” Her words are soft and broken as she whispers them.
“Can you really say that as you leave home to take care of every last detail for a wedding you’ve spent the last two months planning?” I ask.
“We’remarriednow. We can’t keep secrets from each other. And your secret makes me feel like you’re not willing to take a risk on me, my business…or us.”
It’s not true—at least to me, it isn’t. But the way she delivers those harsh words feels an awful lot like she’s already made up her mind.
In my head, I just wanted to get rid of the mansion. To get my money back. To be done with it.
To her, it was an act of betrayal.
And no matter how much I love her, or how much she loves me, I’m not sure how we overcome that.
CHAPTER 44: Tatum Barker
More Venues
I’ve spent the day fighting back tears.
This isn’t how I wanted to feel on the day of the first wedding I planned here in Tampa, but here we are. And I don’t even know what to do about it. Where to go.
Ford has always been the person I’d run to, but I can’t this time.
And that breaks my heart.
I need some space.
I walk away when things get hard. It’s why Archer and I broke up as many times as we did. He wanted to stay and fight it out, and I wanted to shut down.
