I reach for my seatbelt. I’ll walk the rest of the way.
Gabriel shifts in his seat and places his hand over mine. His touch startles me and I jump just as the buckle unlatches, but he doesn’t remove his hand.
“How about I talk? That okay?” When I don’t immediately shove my door open and run for it, he continues. “I need to say some things. I’m going crazy trying to process all this shit and… I just need to say a few things. Okay?”
I hold back my snort. There’s a whole mountain of shit I’ve been bottling up these past months. Things I’d love to get off my chest, so excuse me, but I’m a little short on sympathy at the moment.
He must see my response in my expression because he adds, “Please.”
I purse my lips together. I should leave. I don’t want to listen to whatever he has to say to me. But a small part of me wondersif maybe he’ll leave me alone if I hear him out. That’s the only reason I stay. It has nothing to do with the sad puppy dog expression he has trained my way.
Look at me, finally looking at the glass half full for once. Silver linings. Assuming this works and he does back off after he gets whatever he needs off his chest.
When I don’t object, he exhales a loud breath and turns to face me fully. Mimicking his position, I turn and press my back against the door, the cold from the window seeping through my shirt and chilling my skin.
“Okay. Good.”
He considers me for a moment and I wait. Silence stretches between us. Seconds pass and he just stares at me, seemingly at a loss for words.
I blink. Wait. Blink again.
Another harsh exhale. He squares his shoulders and comes to some sort of decision. Opens his mouth.
Nothing.
His shoulders slump.
Gabriel runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the dark brown strands before staring out the windshield. Almost like it’s too much just looking at me.
Welcome to the club. I hate looking at myself, too.
Still not looking at me, he says, “Back there,” he waves in the general direction behind us, “that was a panic attack, yeah?”
I nod, but he doesn’t see it.
Thinking I ignored him, he flicks his gaze toward me, and I nod again.
“Was that because of me? Did I set you off?”
I open my mouth. Close it. I consider the question more fully, but shake my head. I don’t think it was him. I’d been around him all day. If he was going to set me off, it should have happened sooner.
“Julio and Felix?”
I shrug. I don’t know. I mean, I guess it’s a yes. But also no. My brows pull together and I close my eyes. It wasn’t them specifically. At least, I don’t think it was. They could have been any unfamiliar guys, and I probably would have had the same reaction. It didn’t help seeing Austin today. Or his cronies on the team.
“Do you know them? Have you met either of them before today?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Good.”
When I frown at his response, he explains. “I trust them with my life. They’re like brothers to me, but,” he gives me a sheepish look, “I wanted to be sure. You know?”
No. I don’t know. What would my having met them before have to do with anything?
My confusion must be written across my face because Gabriel adds, “I think someone hurt you.” I hold my breath, praying he stops there. I don’t want him making the same assumptions his friend did. What if he told him? I silently curse. They’re best fucking friends. Of course, he told him. Dammit. I should have asked. Or, at the very least, begged him to keep his suspicions to himself.
My chest rises and falls at a clipped pace, my breaths ragged and shallow. This can’t get out. I can’t become the topic of campus gossip. Not about that. It’ll get back to Austin. I swallow hard. I can’t let it get back to Austin.
