I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Now Holt’s made bail. What is it going to be next?
“We could try the pool again,” Deacon suggests, his tone doubtful.
I pull my helmet down over my head and flick up the visor. “You do that,” I tell him. “It can’t hurt.” But it’s not like he’ll find her there. We’ve already looked. Deacon is just trying to be useful. To stay busy. We all are. The more time that passes, the harder it is not to think of all the worst-case scenarios. But, I can’t go there yet. My stomach is already sick with dread. I have to believe she’s okay. That Holt didn’t find some way to get to her.
“What if she really isn’t missing?” Felix hedges, his voice uncertain. “She was upset. You guys had just had a fight. She might have gone somewhere to clear her head. It’s what you did when you disappeared to the Pier. Maybe she?—”
“When she needs to clear her head, she goes to the campus pool. She swims. She’s got a pool at her place and we have the pool at PacNorth. She’s not at either of them. We’ve looked everywhere else she frequents. J called Adriana. She doesn’t know where Cecilia is. She called around to some of the other girls on the swim team, and they hadn’t seen her either. Fuck, I even reached out to that asswipe, Wyatt, that she went out with before. I don’t know where else she would go.” My voice sounds defeated even to my own ears.
“We’ll go sit on Holt’s house,” Atticus suggests, indicating Deacon beside him. “We’ll swing by the campus pool on our way just to be safe. Someone should have eyes on Holt in case he leaves or …” He trails off with a shrug.
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks.” The two of them head out in Atticus’s car, leaving Julio, Felix, and me alone in the police parking lot.
“You should take a beat,” Julio says. “It’s been a few hours. You need?—”
“I need to find her,” I grit out. “That’s all that matters right now.”
Julio purses his lips together. “She was upset when Felix dropped her off,” he reminds me. “I get that swimming is herthing, but she still might have gone somewhere else. For a walk or to a friend’s.”
“She doesn’t hang out with anyone else. She’s got us, and she has Adriana. That’s it.”
I know Julio is trying to be reasonable. He probably thinks I’m overreacting, but I’m not. I can’t explain it. But I know it in my gut. Cecilia isn’t okay. It’s the same feeling I had during our practice that something was wrong. I was right then. And I know I’m right now.
Julio sighs. “Fine. We’ll figure out where to look next after we drop your bike off at the soccer house. We’ll use the drive over to brainstorm ideas.”
“We should split?—”
“No,” Julio cuts me off. “We did that already. We divided, and we didn’t conquer. You’re running on fumes, and I don’t need you racing off on your bike in the middle of the night and getting yourself killed. Follow us home, drop off the bike. We’ll regroup and then take Felix’s car to continue the search.”
“Fine.” I throw a leg over my CBR 1000, settling onto the leather seat. Flipping over the ignition, the engine roars to life. I tug on my riding gloves and rev the engine, preparing to head out, when Felix steps up beside me.
“Keep your head on straight, and don’t do anything stupid.” He raises his voice to be heard over the motor. “We’re all worried, okay? But we’re gonna find her.”
He claps me on the shoulder, and I grunt.
“I’ll see you at the house in ten. Don’t take any detours.” Flicking my visor down, I brush off the order and take off down the street, the wind whipping around me as I race toward the soccer house. My heart pounds in my chest, determination fueling me. I want to believe him. There’s no alternative.
I am going to find her. And she’s going to be okay.
She has to be.
CHAPTER 71
CECILIA
Five hours earlier
Felix pulls up in front of my house, the silence in the car heavy as I look up at the illuminated front porch. It’s early evening—not quite dark yet—but it will be in another hour or so. Our neighborhood is quiet, the kind of suburban tranquility that hides secrets behind closed doors. The streetlamps flicker on as the sky darkens, casting long shadows across the manicured lawns and perfectly trimmed hedges. It’s almost too perfect, like a scene from a movie set.
My parents’ cars sit in the driveway letting me know they’re home.
Terrific.
“Do you want me to ...?” Felix’s voice trails off, soft and uncertain. He’s looking at me, then at the house like he knows what I’m thinking but doesn’t know how to say it.
“No. It’s fine,” I say, swallowing down the tightness in my throat. “I’m good.”
He nods, but his frown doesn’t disappear. “If you change your mind ...”
