I don’t hear heavy footfalls on the pavement, and his furious voice never reaches my ears.
My chest heaves. I don’t think he followed us. Which just means I’ll need to be on the lookout for him whenever I’m on campus. I don’t want him catching me off guard like that again.
I’m pissed at myself for just standing there like a frozen freaking fish. What would have happened if she didn’t intervene? Yelled at me for sure, but what if he did more than that? What if he touched me or did something worse?
A shiver travels down my spine, and bile rises in my throat thinking about how Austin pressed himself into me. Would Parker have done something like that? Would he have tried to corner me? Maybe drag me off somewhere private? Would Ihave stayed so frozen in my fear that I would’ve allowed him to get me alone?
There’s a chance I might have. But I don’t let myself dwell on it right now.
“I think we’re safe,” I tell her, not believing my own words, but I need to say something. Bracing my hands on my knees, I force myself to slow my breathing. In through my nose. Out through my mouth.
The adrenaline is wearing off, and I’m beginning to feel lightheaded. I need to get somewhere quiet. Somewhere safe. I can’t afford to break down and have a panic attack out here where I’m exposed. Parker or anyone else can stumble upon me.
If Parker is looking for me, there’s a decent chance that Gregory or Austin are, too.
Birds of a feather …
I shake my head. I’ve stayed quiet. I ended things with Gabriel. What more do they want from me?
“I’m Adriana,” the girl says, sticking her hand out toward me.
I straighten, swallowing hard. “Cecilia.” We shake hands, and I chew my bottom lip, trying to come up with some sort of explanation. I know she’s going to want one. Any sane person would.
“You want to tell me what all that was about back there? Not sure what I walked into, but that guy—Benson, that’s what you called him, right?”
And there it is. Explanation required.
“Parker Benson. But yeah, that’s his name.”
“He’s a serious asshole. Is he your ex-boyfriend or something? If he is, you’ve got real shitty taste.”
My lip curls. “Definitely not.”
“Good.” She nods. “But then, what’s his deal?”
“I’m not really sure,” I hedge. “He’s never come at me like that.” All true, though I leave out the part where he’s one of threeguys who assaulted me at a party this past summer. A lot of that night is a blur. I’m only able to remember bits and pieces.
Austin recounted the night’s events in sickening detail, but I don’t know if I believe him.
That’s a lie.
I’m pretty sure I do believe him. I only wish I didn’t.
Austin claims he was the only one to rape me. He’s bragged about it actually. Like being the only one to fuck me while I’m unconscious is some prize.
Parker and Gregory fucked my face. I remember that part. Choking as Parker forced his cock into my mouth. Gagging when his cum hit the back of my throat.
He and Gregory took turns, and all three of them laughed as tears streamed down my face.
Whatever drugs they slipped into my drink that night kicked in shortly after that, so the last thing I really remember with any sort of clarity is when Austin lifted me onto the bed. I remember his weight pressing into me. The way he tore at my clothes and the feel of him groping my breast.
And then … nothing.
I’m grateful for the nothing.
There’s a recording of what happened. Austin taunts me with it often enough. He texted it to me the morning after. His way of threatening me to fall in line. He says the video makes it look like I’m an active participant. Like I wanted it to happen.
I didn’t believe him, of course. But I watched the first minute or so of the recording. With the angle of the camera. You can’t tell anyone is holding my hands behind my back. That I’m being restrained.
