“I know. And I’m sorry it’s just that?—”
A car pulls up on the sidewalk beside us and Felix gets out of the driver’s seat. “You good?” he asks, the engine still running as he leans against the hood.
Cecilia’s brows twist in confusion.
“Yeah. Thanks for coming,” I tell him.
Felix nods. “I got you,” he says to me before turning his attention to Cecilia. He opens the passenger door for her. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”
Cecilia’s gaze flicks between us, her mouth tight with confusion. “But?—”
I turn away and start walking in the opposite direction. I’m done with this conversation. Felix will handle things now. He’ll make sure she gets home safe.
“Gabriel!” she calls out.
“Let him go. He needs time to—” I don’t hear the rest of Felix’s words, but I feel Cecilia’s hand on me again, tugging at my dress shirt, her fingers pressing against my skin.
“Where are you going?” she asks, a thread of desperation in her voice.
I shake my head, refusing to look at her. I can’t answer her question because the truth is, I don’t fucking know. All I know is that I need to get away from here. From my mother. From Cecilia. From everyone.
“Just talk to me. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for this?—”
Something inside of me snaps and a coldness I’ve never felt before settles into my bones.
I grab her by both arms and press her against the side wall of the church.
A startled gasp slips free from her lips.
“You told me once to back off. That I couldn’t save you. Remember that?” She flinches before offering me a barely perceptible nod. I’m being a dick and I know I need to stop. I need to rein myself in, but I can’t seem to stop myself from voicing my next words. The ones I know will finally be enough to get her to leave me the hell alone. To push her away.
“Then stop trying to save me. I don’t want or need your help. Got it? You’re making shit worse.”
“But—”
“All I need is to be left the fuck alone, Cecilia. Get that through your head.”
“You don’t mean that.”
I laugh, the sound dark and brittle before I crowd into her space. “Yeah, I fucking do. And in case there is any confusion about where we stand, it’s over. I’m done.” I tear my gaze away from her. “I don’t want to be your fucking friend.”
My chest heaves with the effort it takes to move away from her. I don’t want to see the hurt on her face.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I doing this?
I can’t even answer the questions for myself.
“Gabe, please—” There’s a plea in her voice.
“You were right to let me go,” I tell her. “To push me away. I never would’ve had the strength to walk away from you on my own before.” Shaking my head, I let out a harsh laugh. “But it looks like today, I am.”
42CECILIA
Idon’t know what’s happening. How did we go from working things out between us, to being friends, and then to it all falling apart in less than a day?
Gabriel’s words slice through my heart like a blade, and I feel my world shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.
"What?" I manage to whisper, my voice shaking.
