“Glad we both agree. I’m wearing the exact same dress just in green. Try it on. You’ll like it.”
I roll my eyes but do as she says. It’s not like I have a lot of options here. Most of my things are already packed. And even if they weren’t, I still probably wouldn’t have anything to wear. “Sexy” isn’t really in my wardrobe vocabulary.
“Where did you get this from anyway?” I ask. “And how the heck did you manage to hide it from your mom?”
“Online. And I ordered it when she had a stupid floral shipment arrive for one of her charity things. There were so many delivery people in and out that day, she never noticed my lonely little Fashion Nova box.”
“Sneaky,” I tell her with a wink.
Monique and I have been best friends since middle school, which is how I know her parents would never approve of her wearing a dress like this. It’s all about appearances for the Price family. They even took issue with our school-issued uniform skirts and had hers custom ordered three inches longer than standard. Though the hemline isn’t the only thing about the dress they’d object to. They’d also balk at her wearing anything that wasn’t designer and didn’t cost a fortune. Can’t wear the same clothes as the common folk.
Slipping the dress over my head, I smooth down the fabric and eye myself in the mirror.
“Damn, girl.” Monique whistles. “You look stunning!”
I grimace. “This is…a lot.” Though I can’t pull my eyes away from my reflection. Monique is seven inches taller than me, so while her dress comes down just far enough to cover her butt, mine falls to mid-thigh. It’s strapless and hugs my body like a second skin, giving the illusion of curves I know I don’t have. But…wow.
Monique comes up behind me and pulls the clip from the back of my head, making my long, curly black hair fall around my face.
“This is perfect,” she tells me. “It’s sexy and screams for the love of God, please take my virginity.”
I smack her arm but don’t bother fighting my laugh. “I’m not trying to announce I want my virginity taken.”
She tosses my hair clip on the bed and hands me a tube of bright red lipstick. “Doesn’t change the fact that that is exactly what you’re after. Come on, Bibi. This was your idea. Let’s be rebels for once. We need this. A last hoorah before you abandon me.”
I chew my bottom lip but accept the lipstick and move closer to the mirror to put it on. Squaring my shoulders, I remind myself that I’m leaving Sun Valley with zero regrets. I’ve spent the last sixteen years of my life being the good girl. The girl who never stepped out of line. Never caused a fuss. Never broke the rules.
I need to breathe. Even if it’s only for one night.
At first, I was always on my best behavior because Mom was pregnant. She was older, the pregnancy unplanned, and it wasn’t without complications. She needed help and support and I wanted to be there for her.
Then it was because my baby brother was sick. My parents had their hands full dealing with Afonso’s condition. I didn’t need to add to their plate by being reckless, and I didn’t want to take attention away from Afonso. He was my baby brother. He was everything.
Then, right before his third birthday, he died. It gutted our family. Mom needed to grieve. No way would she have been able to handle me acting out on top of everything else. So, I continued to be the good girl. The rule follower. I can count on one hand the number of times my parents have ever needed to scold me.
Less than a year after Afonso passed, Dad left.
My family has been hit in the face with life again and again. There is never a good time to…I don’t know…be a kid. To make mistakes. To act impulsively. Guilt worms its way through my chest reminding me now still isn’t a good time. But then, when will it ever be? I’m sixteen years old. I want to be young and dumb. Not forever, but for a night. Just this one time. I want to make mistakes I can look back on. I want to know that I was wild and free. That I spread my wings and lived.
Afonso’s been gone for three years now. Dad’s been gone for two. It’s been a whirlwind for Mom and I, but things have gotten better. Mom has a boyfriend. He’s kinda weird but she smiles a lot more than she has in years, and I think she really loves him. He makes her happy. And I want her to be happy.
She’s been through so much.
It’s why I’m not complaining about the move. Well, not out loud at least. And why I stuffed back my tears and smiled ear to ear when she told me the good news. She deserves to be happy. I just…I want that for me, too.
“Okay. Let’s go before I lose my nerve.”
Monique’s smile widens. “Eeeeee! This is going to be so much fun!”
I don’t know if I share her enthusiasm, but I’m committed to this course nonetheless. For one night, I’m not going to be Bibiana Sousa—the good girl. I’m going to be the rebel. The wild child. A girl that goes with the flow, lets her hair down, and for once in her life, makes some freaking mistakes.
* * *
No one batsan eye as Monique and I stroll up to tonight’s party house. I have no idea whose it is, but I also don’t care. Suncrest Academy kids don’t throw ragers like this, and by crashing a Sun Valley High party, we’re less likely to run into anyone we know and have word get back to either of our parents.
“Come on, let’s grab a drink.” Monique hauls me through the front door and leads me in the obvious direction of the kitchen where a keg has been set up. Grabbing a red cup, she hands it to one of the guys manning the keg and he fills it for her, giving her an interested once-over.
“You here with anyone?” he asks, handing her the beer and tilting his head toward me in silent question. I shake my head, and wave off the offered alcohol, grabbing a water bottle from the open coolers instead. I know plenty of students who have zero issue with underage drinking but…I don’t know…coming to the party to hook up with a guy seems risqué enough for me for one night. Drinking when I’ve just barely turned sixteen feels like I would be pushing it.
