“I really do appreciate—”
He shakes his head. “Enough with all that. You and me, we’re good. I don’t mind being friend-zoned as long as that friendship weathers any storms that might come up. Okay? I know you and Luis’s dad are together.”
I scowl.
“Or maybe not together?” he corrects.
“I have no clue, to be honest.”
“Yeah, guys are stupid at his age.” He shrugs. “But you’re something, or you’re working out what you are to each other at least, and I respect that. Just don’t let him shove me out of your life, okay? I remember being eighteen and an idiot too.”
“You’re not that much older,” I remind him.
He smirks. “Old enough to grow out of my idiot phase.”
I roll my eyes.
“He’s going to be jealous. Possessive too. Can’t say I blame him but“—he hesitates, and I can see that this is really important to him—“hang on to the people you want in your life.”
“I will. Promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
I spend the next hour unpacking and making sure I have everything I need. I try calling Mom, but she doesn’t answer so I shoot her a text hoping she’ll see it eventually and respond.
Me: Staying with Jae for a bit. Call me if anything changes with Miguel.
I’m not usedto radio silence from her. We’ve always been close. Especially after Dad died. She talked to me. Told me things most mothers probably wouldn’t tell their daughters, but it was okay. I liked the shift in our relationship. I liked knowing she needed me but now—I need her.
I try to push back the emotion bubbling up inside of me. An empty crater opens in my chest and I rub at the ache, hating the hollow feeling inside of me.
“You’re not some little kid anymore,” I remind myself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Everyone has to leave the nest at some time. Now just happens to be mine.
I set my phone on the bedside table before picking it back up. I debate calling Emilio next.
Every day this week he’s come over to the house after football practice. But he’s clearly upset with me today. It’s stupid and beyond immature. I get the feeling he won’t stop by today but if he does, I should be the one to tell him. It’ll only make him angrier if he shows up at my house and my mom is the one to tell him I moved in with Jae. I don’t know how he’ll take it. But I imagine it’ll be worse than if I tell him myself.
Indecision swirls through me. I don’t want to tell him. I want to just pretend like this isn’t a thing. Because it shouldn’t be. Where I live should play no part in our relationship, whatever it may be. And that kiss. I press my fingers to my lips, remembering his touch. His taste. He’s always sweet with a hint of spice, much like thepalerindas—a tamarind-flavored sucker—I see him eating sometimes.
But I know this is going to be a thing between us. It’ll cause a rift and Mom being the one to tell him will only make it so much worse. She knows Emilio is Luis’s father. We had that fun, awkward conversation and it went about as well as can be expected.
She thinks he’s too young. That I should be careful. That I shouldn’t give even an inch when it comes to Luis because he’ll take a mile. It’s like she expects him to try and take Luis from me or something.
It doesn’t help that she’s always been a fan of the idea of Jae and I getting together. Luis being around puts a damper on her plans and knowing Emilio was there when Miguel was arrested, doesn’t give him any points in her book. I don’t need this to boil over into a bigger deal than it needs to be. I love my mom but, she’s not thinking clear right now.
Resigned with the knowledge that I do actually have to tell him, I pull up Emilio’s number and hit dial, listening as it rings. Once. Twice. Five times. I hit his voicemail. Relief sweeps through me as his voice says, “This is Emilio. You know what to do.” The line beeps and I hang up. Voicemail isn’t the best way to tell him I’ve moved out, right? I’ll try again later. Probably. But at least I can say I did try.
I check the time. Practice should be out already but be could be running late, or maybe he decided to take a shower or something. Should I send him a text? Maybe just to ask him to call me when he has a moment. Before I can decide, my phone vibrates in my hand and I jump.
Emilio’s name flashes across the screen and my fingers fumble to open the incoming message, nerves already slamming into me.
Emilio: Had some family shit come up. I’ll be busy the next few days.
Oh.My shoulders slump. He’ll be busy? What is that supposed to mean? Like, is he too busy for Luis and me? I chew on my bottom lip. Is he really that mad at me that he’d make up some story about family drama?
I shake my head. No. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I wanted to put off telling him I moved out anyway. This at least buys me some time. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare down at my phone.
This is good. Helpful, even.
