“You’re not dating either,” she reminds me.
“I don’t have time to date. I have Luis and work and—”
“And Emilio?”
My cheeks heat. “Who is the father of my child and a really great co-parent.”
“He is. But now that the dust has settled, are you still sure that’s all you want him to be?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Maybe now is the time to be a little daring. Spread your wings and take a chance.” Emilio’s words echo through my mind.Spread your wings, mariposa. Fly.
Things might not have turned out as planned when I first heard those words whispered in my ear, but maybe this is fate’s way of telling me I need to do it again, take a chance. I got Luis out of the deal the first time around, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Maybe…maybe it’s time to reach for just a little more.
* * *
It’sclose to midnight when I make it home, having caught a ride with Allie. I creep inside the house, careful to keep my steps silent as I slip off my shoes and coat and leave them near the door. I wash my face and slip into my sleep shorts and tank that I left in the bathroom before making my way to my room.
Luis is curled up in the middle of my bed, Emilio beside him. As I slip inside, the soft glow from Luis’s night light shows me that Emilio is fast asleep. I chew on my bottom lip before deciding to leave well enough alone for one night. I slip beneath the covers, curling around my son as my feet accidentally brush up against Emilio’s.
His eyes jerk open. Dark brown pools meet my own and a small smile curls his lips before he’s forced to stifle a yawn. “How long was I out?” he whispers.
“I just got home, so probably not long.”
He nods and turns to sit up, but I reach out and wrap my fingers around his hand before he has the chance to. He frowns, a look of confusion on his face as his eyes flick from my hand to my face. “Stay,” I whisper.
His frown deepens and he hesitates.
“Please.”
He nods and slips back beneath the covers, facing me with Luis between us. We stare at one another for several minutes, the silence between us heavy, but neither of us brave enough to break it.
I wrap one arm around Luis, Emilio following suit, his arm carefully covering my own. I close my eyes and force myself to relax. To not overthink this moment and for once to just let it be.
Thirty-six
Iwake up to a heavy weight in my face and shift my body, attempting to dislodge whatever it is that’s trying to smother me. A baby giggle greets me and the next thing I know Luis is sitting up, letting me breathe for a quick second before he decides to body slam my face again.
Ompf.
“Hey, little man,” Emilio’s sleep heavy voice cuts through my own early morning fog. “We gotta be nice to Momma.” Luis giggles again, content to use me as a cushion before shoving his face between my breasts, his way of demanding to be fed.
I groan and roll to my side, tugging my top down to expose my breast without even realizing what I’m doing. Emilio sucks in a breath and my eyes jump to his right as Luis latches on and decides to be extra sweet with a quick scrape of his teeth—the only two he has—to remind me I kept him waiting. I bite down on my bottom lip and glare at him. “Bite Momma again and she might just cut you off,” I warn.
He ignores me, of course. Almost a year old now, he’s decided to become a boob barnacle every chance he gets. “Sorry,” I say sheepishly. “I wasn’t thinking when—“
Emilio cuts me off. “You don’t have to hide, you know?”
My cheeks heat. “I know.” But I have been. Whenever Luis has needed to be fed, I’ve slipped into my room for privacy. Not because I feel like I need it, but because… Well, I don’t know why. But nursing him with Emilio present has always felt intimate in a way I can’t quite describe.
“How was work?” he asks, casually changing the subject.
“Long. Slow.”
“How’d you sleep?”
I yawn but manage to push through a grin. “Good. But not as long as I’d have liked,” I complain. Luis likes to wake up around seven, so without looking at the clock I know it must be around that time.
