“The past doesn’t matter. The fact you didn’t know about Luis for however many months, does not matter.” I open my mouth to argue. We’ve moved past that, but he doesn’t give me the chance. “The fact that she got upset and broke things off with you doesn’t matter.” I bite down on the inside of my cheek until I taste blood. “All that matters is whether or not you want to be with that girl bad enough to work for it.” He watches me for a beat. “Whether or not you want to put in the work to raise your son as a unit and not a broken family.”
I clench my jaw and look away. “You already know I do. I’m going to figure this out. I’m going to talk to her. Or try to. I don’t want my kid growing up in a broken home like we did.”
He nods and waits until I meet his gaze again. “Then you gotta let the anger go. You’re hurt. I get it. But your hurt is making you angry and that shit will turn to bitterness in a heartbeat. You can’t fix what’s broken with you two if you’re still broken on your own. Trust me, I would know.” I almost ask how but can tell by the look on his face that whatever it is he’s angry about, it isn’t something he’s ready to talk about.
“You want to go storm over there and win back your girl, I see it in your face but that isn’t your best move right now.”
“Then what is?”
“I cleaned out Dad’s room and moved my stuff in there so my old room next to yours is empty now,” he says, seemingly out of nowhere.
I frown. “Uh. Okay. Cool.” I have no idea why he’s telling me this. What does that have anything to do with what we were just talking about? Is he worried I’ll give a fuck that he’s claiming the bigger room? Not like I plan—my brother smacks me upside the head and scowls at me.
“What the hell, man?”
His scowl only darkens, and the soldier in him is definitely showing. He’s standing stiff and straight with menace radiating from his pores. “Do you knowwhyI spent all day yesterday clearing my stuff out of that room?” he hisses.
I rub at the back of my head, irritation at the forefront of my mind. “Because you’re a selfish prick and wanted the master with a bigger closet and your own bathroom?”
He smirks. “That too. Buthermanito,I cleaned out the room because Luis needs a bedroom, doesn’t he?”
I jerk my gaze to him, scrutinizing his face for any sign that this is some sick joke. His face is dead serious.
I swallow hard. “You think he should have a room here, for when I have him?” I hedge, not entirely sure if I’m hearing him correctly. I mean, I only have him two, sometimes three days a week, and he usually sleeps with me in my room until Bibiana gets off her shift.
“No, stupid.” Roberto huffs out a breath and levels me with a look that saysyou’re a complete moron. “I think you should go get your girl and my nephew and move them both in here.”
Emotion clogs my throat. His plan sounds way better than mine which consisted of some begging and most likely some yelling that she needed to, no,had togive me another shot. I mean, I was going to say it a hell of a lot better than that, but that was the gist of it. You’re broken. I’m broken. I won’t ever leave you. Let’s be broken together. Okay. When I repeat it to myself in my head it sounds stupid as hell but this—
I’m not sure what to say, so I state the obvious in case Roberto is late on the pickup. “We, uh. We’re not together. Luis’s mom and me, I mean. She wants to co-parent. She doesn’t want a romantic relationship.” With me, at least. So what does moving her in accomplish, aside from getting to see my son every day which I am completely down for but…
He shrugs his shoulders. “She’s family now. She shouldn’t be living with some other guy who wants to play house with your kid when she can be here. When your son can be raised by both his parents. Together. Whatever your relationship status is, that’s between you two. But I for one think my nephew and his mom should be surrounded by family. Don’t you?”
I scrub my hand over my face, almost afraid to let the excitement rush in because yeah, they should be here. And put like that, there’s no pressure. She doesn’t have to be in a relationship with me to move in. We can be roommates. Yeah. She might go for that idea, right? And then maybe with time, she can see that I’m not such a fuck up. That I can be someone she can depend on.
Roberto steps further into the room and pulls the football out of the box, handing it back to me. “You don’t have to give up on your dreams because you’re a father,” he tells me. “If anything, you have to fight harder for them now more than ever. Show Luis what hard work and determination gets you. And if you want to win back your girl”—he pauses—“then let go of all your pent-up anger and show her you at your best. The Emilio who fights for every yard, who smiles through his pain, and who gets up every fucking day and keeps going no matter how hard shit gets. That girl is looking for someone to weather the storm with her, be that person.”
I suck on my bottom lip and shake my head. “But—"
“We’re family,” he says again. “We look out for each other. I know I fucked up when I left you and Antonio. Left Sofia. I should have stayed. Made sure you were all safe.” He looks away, shame coloring his features. “I can’t change our past. But I can change our futures. I can be here now, the way you need me.”
I scrub my hand over my face and blink back the moisture in my eyes. “I don’t blame you for escaping this hellhole,” I tell him. We all do what we have to do to survive.
He considers me a moment, almost like he’s weighing my words before he nods his head. “Appreciate it. But I still fucked up and I’ll own that.” He sighs. “I know you were going to go to the dorms after graduation, live on campus but this is your home. For however long you want to be here. For you, Bibiana, Luis. Family takes care of family. Alright?”
I nod. “Thanks, man.”
“Don’t thank me. Get off your ass and go get my nephew.”
I look at the clock. It’s only an hour before I’m supposed to pick up Luis. Fuck it. I’ll take my chances and just hope Bibiana is home. This can’t wait a minute longer.
Thirty-four
Knocking on the door and waiting for her to answer has to be one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life. I’ve gone over what to say again and again in my head but when Bibiana opens the door, Luis propped on her hip and fast asleep, all of my carefully planned words escape me. God, she’s so fucking beautiful. Her hair is thrown up in a tangle of curls. Dark smudges darken the skin beneath her eyes. She doesn’t look to be wearing an ounce of makeup and still, I’ve never seen her look more beautiful.
“Hey,” she says after a full minute passes of me just standing there, drinking her in. “You’re here early.” She tucks a few flyaway strands of hair behind her ear.
I look down at my sneakers, shoving my hands deep into my pockets to keep from reaching for her. A move I know she would not appreciate right now. “I was hoping we could talk.”
