“For Luis?”
Fuck, yes. Fine. “For Luis,” I agree.
She nods. “Okay. I’ll get to know you.”
That’s still not an agreement to date.
God dammit.
* * *
We spendthe next three days getting to know one another. All day Saturday and Sunday, and then I show up right after football practice Monday evening. We agreed my next visit would be on Wednesday but Bibiana wasn’t at school today and she didn’t answer any of my texts. There’s an irrational fear inside me that says she’s bolted with my boy, but when I show up unannounced on her front porch, she lets me in without question and for the first time, Luis reaches for me.
There are dark circles under her eyes and her hair is haphazardly thrown up into a bun thing on top of her head. “You look,” I pause choosing my words carefully, “tired. Everything alright?”
She sighs. “Yeah. Luis is teething so we didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Oh. “Is that why you weren’t at school today?” It makes sense. I pluck Luis from her arms and follow her inside.
Despite her oversized shirt, I can tell her spine is stiff as she hastily picks up Luis’s toys from the ground. “Umm… no. My mom usually watches Luis while I’m in school but she’s dealing with Miguel stuff today so…” she trails off and then hastily adds, “I have it sorted with my teachers. It’s not a big deal.”
My brows furrow. Something in her voice contradicts her words, but I decide to leave it alone, knowing it isn’t my place. “Cool. Is it alright if I hang for a bit with Luis?”
She nods. “Yeah that would be great actually. Do you care if I take a shower and catch up on some homework? You can have some one-on-one time with him?”
My smile widens and I turn to Luis. “What do you think, little man. Wanna kick it with Dad?”
He gurgles and waves a fist in the air which I take to mean hell yeah, so I turn back to Bibiana with a grin. “Sounds good. Shower away.” I try not to think about her naked and wet in said shower but my mind wants to go places it shouldn’t. It’s been nice these past few days, which is better than I could have expected.
At first it was terrifying. There is so much I don’t know and when Luis is tired or hungry, it’s not like he can tell me. I don’t know his cues, but I learned real fast that my boy has a temper. If I take too long trying to figure out what he wants, my man loses it. Who knew something so tiny could be so explosive? And the diaper changes, my god. Nothing this cute should smell that bad.
The uncertainty has mostly faded now. I still don’t know everything there is to know, but I’m learning, and Bibiana’s been good about filling me in if she thinks he’s trying to tell me something. She doesn’t have to make this easy on me. She isn’t required to help me figure out how to be a dad. But she has been. Helpful, I mean. And while it’s the least she can do after keeping him from me, I guess, I don’t know, I appreciate it. Hell, I’m grateful, really. Not that I’ll tell her that.
We haven’t talked about the whole dating thing again but I think I’m winning her over. It’s slow moving, but I can be patient.
She heads upstairs and I move with Luis to the living room, finding the basket of blocks and cars she keeps close by for him. We play on the floor for a bit before grabbing a snack from the kitchen, one of those food pouch things he seems to like.
When he finishes with that he yawns and I know he’s ready for a nap, but I haven’t quite figured out his routine for that yet. From what I’ve seen so far, he usually just falls asleep after nursing and well, I don’t have tits for my little man to get what he needs. But, I don’t want to call Bibiana for that either.
“How’s everything going?” she asks, poking her head into the room, as if me thinking of her somehow conjured her here. Her wet hair hangs in loose curls around her make-up-less face. I’m stunned for a moment at the sight of her. She’s fucking beautiful.
Wearing an army green tank top that hugs her chest and waist like a second skin, she shows off every inch of her delectable curves. Fuck me. I haven’t seen her in anything form fitting since the night we met. She looks good enough to eat. My mouth waters and I wonder what she tastes like.
“We’re good,” I say, hoping my voice doesn’t betray me.
“Do you need me to—”
I shake my head. “Nah. I got it.” I give her a wink. “Go. You have homework, right?”
Her eyes are conflicted but she nods and leaves the room with a muttered, “Call me if you need me.” But, I’ll figure it out. He ate. He played. I check his diaper and we’re good on that front too.
I rock Luis in my arms, adjusting his position a few times until we find one that’s comfortable for him. He fusses a little but I manage to keep him quiet for the most part. I don’t want Bibiana thinking I can’t handle this. I want to take him to meet my sister which means she needs to trust me enough to let me take Luis on my own. We agreed we’d do this her way, and I don’t want to push, but my baby sister was bouncing off the walls as soon as I told her she’s an aunt. I know Antonio wants to meet him too. Hell, Allie was even me asking today at school when I’d be bringing him over despite all the shit she’s dealing with right now.
And none of that can happen if the mother of my child barely trusts me alone with him when she’s right there in the next room.
“We’ve got this, don’t we, little man?” I whisper and rub circles on his back until his head rests against my shoulder. Holding him in my arms reminds me of how fragile he is. How easy it would be for him to get hurt, and I have to fight back the urge to squeeze him tighter to me. Miguel is Bibiana’s mom’s boyfriend and he hurt Allie. He beat her and then the fucker raped her. I haven’t brought it up with her yet because I don’t want to start an argument but I’m nervous about what will happen if the bastard is released. I don’t want him anywhere near my kid.
Roman’s dad can’t make a case for the rape. There isn’t sufficient evidence and Allie didn’t report it when it happened, but he’s doing his damnedest to keep the asshole locked up for something else. They’re digging into all of his financials and looking for any skeletons he might be hiding in his closet. Allie was attacked because of something her father did. Some business deal gone wrong that Miguel was involved in.
