I haven’t been touched in a year and a half. Not that he knows that, but still. He doesn’t get to do that. Make my body light up like the world is on fire, only to walk away and pretend like what happened between us isn’t a big deal. Like it meant nothing. Because dammit it did. To me at least. Just the thought of him makes my blood boil. Where does he get off? He is such an asshole.
I don’t understand him and trying to figure out what is going on in that head of his gives me a migraine. He watches me. Always out of the corners of his eyes like I won’t notice but I do. He tracks my movements and more times than not it’s like he’s waiting for me to show up before he leans into another girl. Like he wants a reaction out of me but I refuse to give it to him. I’m not an idiot and I refuse to be pulled into this twisted game of his.
Ignoring me, the girls, it’s all intentional. He wants me to react, though how, I’m still not sure. I have no claim on him. I can’t be jealous. Well, I can be, because I clearly I am, but I have zero reason to be. He’s not mine. I’m not even sure if I want him to be.
I don’t know if the fact that he’s doing this all on purpose is a relief or just pisses me off more. But at least I know I’m not the only one affected. Every time another guy that isn’t one of the Devil’s talks to me, Emilio’s jaw tightens. It’s a subtle reaction but it’s there.
It’s petty and immature of me but, I’ve taken to messing with him at lunch. Intentionally eating my food in a provocative manner. His eyes burn. His jaw clenches. But despite his suggestion two days ago, that next time he’ll make me come with his mouth, he hasn’t said a single word to me. I’ve been on the receiving end of heated stares and lingering looks, but that’s it. No words. No smiles or openings for conversation. No way to casually say, “did I mention we have a son together?”
I hate it, and I love it, and I have no freaking idea what to do about it. Finding a way to tell Emilio about Luis was complicated enough to begin with. Now it’s a cluster fuck of epic proportions.
The doorbell rings, startling me from my thoughts, and I rush to answer it, Luis propped on my hip, his head on my shoulder. I’m equal parts terrified and excited for Allie and Kasey to meet him. I haven’t introduced him to anyone outside of family except for Monique, and she’s my best friend so that doesn’t count.
“Relax, B,” Monique says as she joins me. “They’re gonna love him.”
I gave Allie a heads-up that I wanted to introduce her to someone important to me but I didn’t give her any details and I’m pretty sure this isn’t who she had in mind.
I open the door and find both girls waiting with Aaron right behind them. Shit. I’d completely forgotten he was coming too. I swallow hard and all three sets of eyes zero in on the little boy I’m holding.
“Hey, come on in,” I say, ushering them inside.
Dressed in a knee-length hoodie dress and black K-swiss sneakers, Allie is beaming when she steps inside. “Is he yours?” she asks with open curiosity. I nod. “Oh, my God. He’s adorable.” She touches one tiny hand, her eyes shining with wonder as she gazes at my precious bundle. “How old is he?”
I swallow hard. “Nine months.”
Her smile widens. “You did good, momma.” She moves to the side, making way for the others, and I lead everyone through the kitchen and into the living room. “Told you,” Monique whispers. I nudge her with my elbow playfully, grateful that things are off to a good start.
“My mom will be here in a little bit and she’s going to hang out with him. He usually goes to bed around eight, but he didn’t get a nap today, so he zonked out early,” I say for everyone else.
Kasey moves closer and gives Luis a quick once over. She’s dressed in ripped jeans and a flannel shirt over a black tank top. Her hair thrown in her usual messy bun style. “He’s cute,” she says in way of greeting. “Doesn’t look anything like you.”
“Kasey!” Aaron groans.
“What? It’s not a bad thing. He’d still be cute if he looked like her too.” She rolls her eyes and then turns her attention to Monique, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I’m Kasey, by the way. You must be Dominique’s sister?”
“In the flesh. I’m Monique, and I must say, I’m kind of obsessed with you. You have to tell me what it is that you do to my brother that gets him so worked up damn near every day. I need some pointers.” Allie and I laugh, but Aaron has a pinched expression on his face I can’t quit read, though he doesn’t comment. I don’t know Kasey or Dominique very well, but even an idiot can see there’s something going on there. Whenever they’re in the same room together it’s like everyone else has to brace themselves for the oncoming explosion. I can’t tell if it’s hatred that fuels their responses or if they’re secretly into each other. Either way, Dominique and Kasey in the same space for more than a few minutes is a recipe for disaster.
The girls head to the sofa just as my mom walks into the room, setting her purse and keys on a nearby hook.
“Sorry, I’m late. I had a few errands to run.” She tells me, pulling Luis from my arms. She rubs his back and makes small shushing sounds when he squirms, and in no time he’s back to being fast asleep. “We’ll be upstairs, but you kids have fun.” She waves to my new friends, exhaustion tugging on her features. She’d normally stop and chat for a few minutes, but I know she’s been working late. Helping Miguel with some of his work at his office after she gets off from a full day of work herself.
“Thank you,” I mouth and watch as she heads upstairs.
“Where’s the baby going?” Allie whines, a mock pout on her lips. “I wanted to hold him.”
“Why, with the way you and Roman fuck like rabbits every chance you get you’ll probably have one of your own soon enough,” Kasey remarks.
Allie smacks her arm, but there’s a smile on her face that tells me she doesn’t hate the idea.
“Sorry. Come over earlier next time and you can hold him. Promise.” I tell her, secretly thrilled that not only do they seem completely fine with the fact I have a child, but genuinely interested in him too.
“Urgh, fine. But if he wakes up, I call dibs on baby snuggles. He’s so freaking cute.”
My heart warms and I hesitantly ask the one question that’s been on my mind since we made plans to get together. “So … you don’t care that I have a kid?” I didn’t make many friends in Richland. I wasn’t there very long. But what friends I did make when we first moved didn’t last long after having Luis. They always wanted me to leave him with my mom. They though it was inconvenient for him to be around even if all we were doing was homework or going to the mall. It was disheartening to say the least. And it’s not like he caused problems. He was a newborn at the time. All he did was eat, sleep, and poop.
“Why would we?” Kasey asks. “He’s cute. He’s yours. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You seriously have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I was so nervous to tell you guys.”
