Iswear to fuck all if they don’t stop yanking me around, I’m going to fucking lose it.
Yet here I am, waiting patiently for someone to reveal themselves. I’m not in the void, nor in my section of Hell. Not the dragon realm or the chicken world, or any of the normal places I’ve haunted before. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m still topside.
Except the world is black and moist. My nose crinkles at the musty, swampy smell. Wherever I am, it’s gross, especially while I’m naked. I cross my arms to keep them from covering my junk. If they want to summon me during what was probably the most important conversation of my existence, then they get me in all my fucking glory.
“Providence,” I bellow. “One word: squids.”
She doesn’t show. My nostrils flare and I close my eyes. I’ve already tried several times to call up my magic. The curse musthave gutted me. It’s the only plausible explanation. The only other time I’ve felt this muted…
“Karma,” I growl.
A tinkling laugh echoes around me, and I pull in a deep breath to keep myself in check. I can’t electrocute her without magic. I can’t strangle her without knowing where she is. And I can’t pinpoint where she is without a little light.
“I will gut?—”
“Wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you,” she calls in a singsong voice.
“What the fuck are you do?—”
She pops up right in front of me as the space floods with light, then dims. We’re in a cave. A fucking cave with offshoots leading into the dark. She skips around, half my height and annoying as shit. She’s changed her hair again. A riot of rainbow swirls around her as she spins. At least she’s in a good mood.
“Karma,” I snarl in warning.
She huffs with her entire body and gives me a look. “Fine. You’re no fucking fun. Just because you’re being a pissy boy lately, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Although…”
“Why am I here, Karma?” The sooner she gets to the point, the sooner I can get back to what’s important—Mari.
“Well, I might have stirred the pot just a bit too much.” She digs her bare toe into the dirt, hands behind her back as she twists back and forth.
“Spit it out.”
She heaves a heavy sigh, and her form flickers. I tip my head back and wait for her to settle once more. This isn’t an unusual occurrence. With her tugging at various threads throughout dimensions, she can never fully be in one place for long. It’s annoying, but I can’t blame her for it. She didn’t ask to do this. It was thrust upon her by those ruling over us. I don’t know why they skipped over me, but I’m not complaining.
“Seriously, humans need to get their shit together. Do you know how hard it is to rain down horror on all these fucking rich men? Ack. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and youknowhow I hate that.”
“Why. Am. I. Here.” It’s a demand, not a question.
“Oh, I have a teeny, tiny, little, itty-bitty, minuscule favor to ask of mydearlittle brother.”
“We’re twins.”
She waves away my words. “See, I might have meddled a little bit too much.”
“You already said that.”
She tilts her head, finally fixating on me. “Why are you naked? Oh! Did it work? I mean, I told her it probably wouldn’t, but if it did, then maybe you’ll be more inclined to help me since I’m the only reason things happened in the first place.”
I scrub my hand down my face and groan. Is this what I’m like when I’m babbling about some random bullshit? Because it’s frustrating as fuck. Explains why Omen tells me to get to the point when he’s in a hurry. All I want to do is shake her until she tells me what the fuck is going on.
“Send me back. Now.”
She purses her ruby red lips, then snaps her fingers. “I got it. You’re in the middle of it and I interrupted.That’swhy you’re in a bad mood. Got it.Well, I can definitely send you back if you help me with my little issue and promise me you’re no longer mad at me.”
“I am still mad at you.”
She pouts, and I swear if she doesn’t stop acting like a godsdamn toddler…her face morphs and she adopts a more serious look. Her black dress splattered with pink dissolves into a crisp business suit. Her eyes flash opaque before settling on her usual black orbs. It’s as if she read my mind, which I wouldn’t put past her.
“You realize I’m not actually a flighty little sprite, right? I’m perfectly capable of acting every bit of my age. Except that’s no fucking fun. Do you realize how hard it is to go through my existence being shuffled around?”
