I wish I could bottle this feeling up and keep it with me always.
After another hour of gift opening and general mayhem, she starts falling asleep while sitting up and we decide to call it quits. Despite my numerous protests, Ellie, Andrea, and Granny insist on staying to help me clean everything up—except for the backyard, which has been assigned to the boys.
After everything is said and done, Ellie follows me into the nursery, where we each blow kisses at the angel dozing off in her crib.
“Thank you, Ellie Bellie,” I whisper, kissing her on the cheek. “For everything. I don’t know how I’d do this life without you. I love you forever.”
“I love you, my sweet ginger angel,” she says, eyes shining bright with emotion.
Once the house is put back together and the yard no longer looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland, our dearest friends and family bid us goodnight. Waving at them from the porch with Jack’s arm wrapped around my shoulders, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so warm and full of life.
“I have something for you,” he whispers in my ear as the last car drives away.
“For me?” I ask. “What for?”
“C’mon,” he says, tilting his head and beckoning me inside the house. “It’s a surprise.”
I let him lead me into the living room and plant me on the sofa before he disappears down the hallway. I hear the opening of the linen closet, and after a few moments of rummaging, his footsteps lead him back to me.
In his hands is a large rectangle wrapped in brown paper and tied with a simple bow made of green ribbon. He takes a seat next to me, but when I reach for the gift he pulls back, keeping it out of my reach.
“I know that today was about Erin,” he starts. “One year with your perfect little girl in the world.”
“One year withourperfect little girl,” I correct, reaching up to run my fingers through his hair.
“Ourgirl,” he grins. “But it also marks one year since the most incredible woman in the world did the hardest thing she’s ever done.”
My eyes immediately well up with tears—before pregnancy, I wasn’t much of a crier. I chalked it up to hormones and grief initially, but I think this might just be who I am now.
“You are so strong, pretty girl,” he murmurs, leaning into my touch. “The bravest, most resilient, most remarkable woman I’ve ever known. I couldn’t let the whole day go by without celebrating you, too.”
“Jack Robbit, you old softie,” I half-whimper, half-laugh.
“I wanted you to have a reminder,” he continues, his smile widening. “That pretty girl in there,” he says, nodding in the direction of the nursery. “She’s going to be so amazing. And that’s because of the amazing mom she’s lucky enough to have.Youdid that, Abs. I know I say it all the time, but I’m so goddamn proud of you.”
“I hope you like it,” he says nervously, setting the gift in my lap and watching as I hastily untie the ribbon and rip the paper off.
It’s a painting. In detailed acrylic is a picture of me as I lay in the hospital bed, my hair a mess, looking happier than anyone has ever been before. I’m smiling down at the sweet bundle in my arms, completely enraptured.
It’s a replica of the very first photo of me and Erin after she was born. The exact moment everything changed for me. I didn’t really know who I was or what I was made for until I looked at her little face for the first time.
“Jack Robb,” I gasp softly. “This is beautiful.”
“You really like it?” he asks.
“I love it,” I say, still staring at me and my perfect Little One memorialized on canvas. “And I love you,” I say, looking up at him. “I love you so much.”
“I love you,” he mumbles against my lips as he kisses me gently. “And Erin. And I’ll love you for as long as you want.”
“Forever,” I say, setting the painting down gingerly and leaning into his chest. “I’ll say it every time. I want forever.”
Chapter 56
Abby
Six Months Later
Another successful Halloween in the books—this year's theme was Toy Story. Griffin insisted on being Woody, and Ellie was a perfect Bo Peep, naturally. Jack was a very good sport about putting on a Buzz Lightyear costume, and after several attempts, I managed to wrangle my hair into Jessie’s fiery pigtails.
