“I promise.”
The door closed. Roaman disappeared for the night. To put her worries to rest, I sat my wine glass on the table beside the bed and climbed onto the king-sized mattress.
I stared at my phone’s screen. After six seconds, I flipped it on its side to be sure it wasn’t silenced. It wasn’t.
Frustration guided my fingers. I searched the contact list for the number he’d contacted me from. It wasn’t hard to find. As well, I remembered most of the numbers by heart.
Instead of initiating a call, I opened the text box. Words failed me. Though my head was full of sentences, nothing would appear. I was drawing blanks.
Space.
Send.
With my thumbnail between my teeth, I waited for the gray bubbles to appear.
One.
My lungs deflated.
Two.
My chest rose.
Three.
I pulled both lips into my mouth and then pushed them out forcefully.
Four.
My cell chimed in my hand. It had been years since I’d heard a ringtone of any kind. Vibration was the new acknowledgment of a pending call. But, I didn’t want to miss this one. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I did.
I slid the bar across the screen and then pressed the phone against my ear. On the other end was partial silence. Still, I felt the weight of our world lift from my shoulders.
Every breath he pulled in felt like a blessing directly from God. I closed my eyes, listening intently.
Inhale.
Thank you, Lord.
Exhale.
Thank you.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Thank you, God.
Inhale.
Exhale.
My heart expanded in my chest. Pain rushed through my body. I was unsure of how something that felt so good hurt so bad.
The quietness had my head spinning in circles. I needed more.
“Why didn’t you call?” I asked, pulling my legs toward my center. Indian-style, I sat on the bed, waiting for a response.
