“You told her enough,” he cuts in.
I flinch.
“You’ve put yourself in danger,” he continues, tossing the phone onto the desk before stepping closer now. “And you’ve pulledherin it too.”
I flinch again despite myself, my shoulders tightening as if bracing for impact. Shame coils tightly in my chest, nearly suffocating me. I hadn’t thought about it that way… not really. I’d only been thinking about how badly I needed to hear a familiar voice. How desperate I was to remember that a world existed outside these walls.
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I didn’t mean to. She wouldn’t tell anyone. Nat wouldn’t do that.”
“You don’tknowthat,” he snaps. The restraint in him cracks enough for me to glimpse what’s underneath—panic? Worry? Concern? I can’t tell. “People talk. People panic when they’re upset. They make mistakes when they’re afraid.”
He looms over me, backing me up until my ass knocks against the edge of the desk and there’s nowhere left to retreat. The wood digs into my lower back, a sharp reminder of how cornered I am. His presence fills the space completely.
“I don’t scold you for my own amusement, Alina,” he growls.
The sound of my name on his tongue, wrapped in that tone, breaks something fragile inside me.
“I just… didn’t want to be alone,” I choke out.
That’s when the tears finally win.
They spill fast and hot, blurring my vision as my chest tightens violently. I can’t stop the sob that claws its way out of my throat, can’t hold myself together long enough to swallow it down. My arms wrap around my waist instinctively, squeezing hard like I’m trying to keep myself from coming apart right there in front of him.
God, I hate this…
I hate how small I feel, how exposed I am. I hate that everything in my life feels like it’s suspended in midair—my future, my freedom,him—with no solid ground in sight.
And worst of all, I hate that I don’t know what we are now.
We crossed a line neither of us can go back over. Him disappearing and shutting me out, walling himself back up like nothing had happened hurts worse than I could have ever imaged. I’d woken up with his warmth still on my skin and his absence tearing a hollow through my chest at the same time.
It isn’t fair that he gets to dictate this without me.
I swipe at my cheeks angrily, furious with myself for crying and letting him see me weak like this. “I don’t understand you. You pull me in and then you disappear. You tell me the truth and then punish me for reacting to it. This is the first time we’ve evenspokenin days, Sasha. And it’s because I did something wrong. Again.”
For a long moment, he just stands there, his jaw clenched so tightly I can practically hear his teeth grind. His hands flex once at his sides, fighting an impulse he obviously doesn’t trust himself not to follow.
“You think this is easy for me?” he finally says, his voice stripped of some of its bite. It isn’t gentle, but it’s honest in a way that makes my breath hitch. “You think I enjoy watching you unravel because you want something I cannot allow you to have?”
I lift my head despite myself, tears clinging stubbornly to my lashes. My throat tightens as I meet his gaze, searching it for something I can hold onto. “Then why did you let it happen in the first place?”
For a split second, his eyes flicker with just the barest crack in the armor. It’s gone almost immediately, but I see it. That’s the answer, right there. The truth neither of us knows how to touch without hurting.
Sasha exhales slowly. “Because I made a mistake, Alina. One I wish I could take back.”
A weak laugh slips out of me. I shake my head. “No, you don’t.”
Something shifts then. Not dramatically, not enough that anyone else would notice, but I do. His expression doesn’t soften, but there’s something else there now, a quiet honesty that feels more dangerous than anger ever could.
“You’re right,” he murmurs. “I don’t.”
I don’t know who moves first. Maybe it’s me leaning forward. Maybe it’s him closing the last few inches of space. All I know is that suddenly, his hands are on my face, warm and steady, cupping my cheeks. The touch steals the breath from my lungs. I exhale softly before my hands rise to fist in the front of his shirt.
My palm flattens over his chest. I feel his heartbeat, strong and steady thudding beneath my hand like it’s answering mine.
When he kisses me, it’s nothing like before.
There’s no collision this time, no desperation crashing into each other. His mouth moves against mine gently, tasting every corner, coaxing my lips apart with a patience that undoes me more than force ever could. One arm slides around my waist. Before I fully register it, he lifts me easily, settling me back on the edge of the desk.
