She looks at me then, really looks at me. But there’s no love in her eyes, only that same coldness. “You don’t know what it’s like,” she says, her voice tight, the words like daggers. “You’re always running from something. You never stop. You never slow down. And I can’t keep up. I can’t… I can’t keep living like this.”
Her words slice through me. I want to reach out, pull her close, but I don’t. Not when she’s so far away. “You think I’m running from you?” My voice cracks, but I can’t hold back. “I’m not running, Izzy. I’m here. I’m right fucking here, and I’m trying. Why can’t you see that?”
She doesn’t respond. Instead, she steps back, away from me, her arms tightening around herself as if to protect herself from me. “I don’t know, X. Maybe we’re just… not meant to be.”
It’s like a punch to the chest. I feel my breath catch in my throat, but I force it down. “You’re serious?” I ask, my voice low, dangerous. “Is that really what you think? That we’re nothing? That this,” I gesture between us, my hand shaking slightly, “is just nothing?”
Her breath catches. “I didn’t say that,” she whispers.
The silence between us is deafening. Every second that passes feels like it’s tearing me apart. I want to scream, to shake her, to make her see what we have, but I stand here, helpless.
“Izzy,” I sigh, my voice breaking again. “I can’t let you go. I won’t.”
She looks at me then, and for a moment, I think I see something flicker in her eyes, something soft. But then it’s gone. She turns away, and the coldness seeps back into her voice.
“You don’t have a choice, X,” she says, her back to me. “I’m already gone.”
Her warmth vanishes, and I’m left standing in the cold, confused and yearning for her.
Izzy doesn’t give me a chance to respond before slipping into her car and starting it up, the engine roaring to life. She pulls away, heading toward the track for her qualifying lap, and I’m left in the pit, watching her go.
“Did you find anything out?” I ask Nolan, who’s been standing off to the side.
“You’re not going to like it,” Nolan replies cautiously. We start walking toward the spot where we always stand to watch the races. “Some girls at school are giving Izzy a hard time. She didn’t say who, but I have my suspicions. The attention you’re giving her is making some of the chicks pissed, and they’re taking it out on her.”
We reach our spot just as Izzy takes the track, her car speeding by, and I can’t help but watch her every move. But now,every second she’s on that track feels like a countdown to the moment I have to figure out what’s going on with her.
As Izzy’s car zooms past, my heart pounds harder in my chest. The roar of the engine drowns out everything else, and for a second, I let myself focus on the sound. Its steady rhythm matches the wild beat of my pulse. But the silence in the pit as she drives out is deafening. I stare at the spot where she disappeared, the weight of her absence suffocating me.
“You okay, man?” Nolan’s voice pulls me back, but it’s distant. His words don’t reach me the way they used to.
I look at him, my head spinning from everything that’s just happened. Izzy’s cold words, the pain in her eyes, and now I still don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.
“She doesn’t mean it,” I mutter, more to myself than to Nolan. I want to believe it. I need to.
“Yeah, sure,” Nolan says, but his tone suggests he’s not convinced. “She’s been through a lot, X. Maybe she just needs space. Don’t push her too hard.”
I nod, but my mind is a storm of frustration and confusion. I don’t know how much more space she needs. How much longer can I let her pull away before cracking?
“I’m not giving up on her,” I say, my voice low, almost a vow.
“You sure about that?” Nolan asks, watching me carefully. “I mean, you’ve already tried to reach her, right?”
I turn away, refusing to answer him. What else can I do? The weight of it all presses down on me like a vice.
Izzy's car comes back around, and this time, when she drives past, I notice her movements are sharp and deliberate, as if she’s trying to block everything out. Her gaze doesn’t flash toward the pit or linger where I’m standing, and that hits harder than anything she could’ve said.
As the race continues, my mind is elsewhere, replaying everything. Her words. Her face. That goddamn coldness. Itstabs at me, but I don’t stop. I can't. This race means something, something bigger than the track.
The crowd roars as the other cars zoom past, but I barely hear it. My thoughts are on her. The distance between us keeps widening, no matter how hard I try to close it.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, but I’ll be damned if I let her walk away without a fight. Not after everything we’ve shared. Not after all the things I never said or need to make right.
The heat ends, and Izzy’s car pulls into the pit area again. I swear, for a split second, she looks my way. A glance, barely a second. But it’s enough to give me hope.
I push through the crowd toward her, my mind made up. No more waiting. No more avoiding this. No more pretending I don’t know what’s wrong.
She’s already climbing out of her car when I arrive, her back to me. But I don’t hesitate this time. I reach out and gently touch her arm.
