Page 12 of Hold On to Me


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She asked him over breakfast in the grounded jet, Geneva white outside every window.

The snow had stopped before dawn. The world beyond the glass was muffled and still: the tarmac buried, the terminal building soft-edged, the distant Alps reduced to pale shapes behind a veil of cloud that couldn’t decide whether it was lifting or settling. Geneva approach remained closed. The captain had called at six a.m. with a revised estimate: mid-afternoon at the earliest. Possibly evening. The city was digging out.

Which meant she had hours. Hours in a cabin that smelled like cedar and cold metal and the ghost of his jacket around her shoulders, with a man who had bought her airline, moved her life, touched her cheekbone like it was a sin, and then sat in the cockpit and made plans to give her away.

She hadn’t slept well. She had slept in the rear seats, still wearing his jacket because the cabin was cold and because taking it off would have required admitting she’d put it on for reasons beyond temperature. She had woken with the collar pressed against her jaw and the smell of him so close it felt like proximity. She had folded the jacket, left it on the seat, and gone to the galley to make breakfast with the grim determination of a woman converting fury into omelettes.

He appeared at seven. Showered. He must have used the jet’s small lavatory, and she didn’t want to think about the logisticsof a man his size in a space that small. Clean shirt, same dark trousers, his hair still damp at the temples, the scar sharper in the grey morning light. He sat in his seat. She placed the omelette in front of him without comment.

He ate. She stood in the aisle with her arms crossed and her back against the opposite bulkhead and watched him eat, and when he set down his fork she asked the question she had been composing since midnight.

“What does ‘someone good’ look like to you?”

He looked at her.

“Because I heard you last night.” She kept her voice even. It cost her. “On the phone. With your brother. ‘I’ll find her someone.’ So I’m asking. What does ‘someone good’ look like, in Andrei Almazov’s estimation? Give me the criteria. I’d like to know what’s on the checklist for the man you’re planning to hand me to.”

A muscle moved in his jaw. Not a flinch but something slower, deeper.

“It was a private conversation.”

“About me. On a jet I’m sealed inside. Privacy is a generous interpretation.”

He set his hands on the table. Palms down. The scarred knuckles, the ones that had grazed her cheekbone eight hours ago, rested against the polished walnut. She stared at them and felt the burn again. Phantom. Persistent.

“Someone without a record,” he said quietly. “Someone whose name doesn’t appear in files that Interpol keeps. Someone whocan give you a life that doesn’t require a security system on your door, or a driver who reports your movements, or a brother who calls at midnight to ask about ‘the girl.’” He paused. “Someone clean.”

“Clean,” she repeated.

“Yes.”

“Meaning not you.”

He didn’t answer. But the silence was loud enough.

She sat down.

Not in the seat across from him, that would have been too formal, too much like a meeting. She sat on the floor of the galley entrance, legs crossed, back against the bulkhead, because the conversation she was about to have required her to be lower than him, smaller, less threatening. Not because she was afraid of him but because she understood, with an intuition she didn’t fully trust, that the only way to get Andrei Almazov to open a door was to sit very still outside it and wait.

“Tell me about your father,” she said.

He looked at her for a long time. She let him. She had nowhere else to be and neither did he and the snow wasn’t going to stop falling because they were uncomfortable.

“He was good,” Andrei said. “And unlucky. Those things shouldn’t be related but in his case they were.”

He spoke slowly. Not reluctantly, carefully, the way a man speaks who’s unused to being listened to and wants to get it right. His father had been a good man. A devoted man. Four sons, a wife he adored, a life that was small and solid andenough. Then their mother died. And grief did what grief does to good men who have no one left to be good for: it unmade him. He gambled. Not casually, not socially. The desperate, ruinous gambling of a man trying to outrun a loss that no amount of money could fill. He lost everything: home, savings, the stability that had kept four boys fed and clothed and believing the world made sense.

“And when he had nothing left,” Andrei said, his voice dropping to something barely audible, “a man offered him a deal. A delivery. One package. Enough money to start over.”

He stopped. The silence in the galley was heavy.

“The package was a trap. Drugs. A weapon linked to a killing. My father walked into a setup designed to destroy him, and it worked. He was convicted. And in prison—” Another pause. Longer. His scarred hand turned on his knee, palm up, then down again. “He was killed. Made to look like something else. We were teenagers. Alexei was twenty. I was nineteen. We had nothing.”

“Who set him up?”

“Someone powerful. Someone who’s still powerful, but that’s a story for another time.” His jaw tightened. “The life we have now...our father never wanted this for us. He wanted us to have clean lives. Normal lives. When he realised, in that prison, that we’d inherit his world instead, that the system that destroyed him would shape his sons, he made the promise about you. The last good thing he could do. As though finding Nico’s daughter someone good could balance the ledger. As though one act of ordinary goodness could offset everything else.”

Ciana listened. She listened the way she had learned to listen to her own father’s stories when she was small, not for the facts, which were always unreliable, but for the shape of what was underneath. The shape underneath Andrei’s story was grief. Old grief, compressed, load-bearing. He had built a life on top of it the way cities are built on top of ruins: functional, solid, with something ancient and unresolved in the foundations.