“That would have hurt,” I concede as I cringe. “But an archdemon just saved you out of the goodness of his heart?”
Lana snorts, picking up another canapé. “Yeah, no. He made me come on his thigh and fed on my pleasure.”
I bite my lip. “Why is that hot?”
“Because you know what it’s like?” Jess asks, inspecting her cuticles.
Amused at her nonchalant behavior, I grin at her. “I guess. Okay, go on.”
“Right,” Lana continues once she swallows her food. “Ash stalked me for a while, offing Nick when he tried to kill me.”
“I’m sorry, what? Sleazy Nick tried to kill you? He’s also dead?”
“Yes and yes,” Jess says. “Don’t tell Daniel I said this, but good riddance.”
Silently, I nod, not mourning the creepy man at all.
“Anyway, after a while, Ash got impatient and kidnapped me.”
“This is starting to sound familiar,” I drawl, rolling my eyes.
Lana grins. “Yeah. Then Kevin, bless his heart, came to save me.”
I raise an eyebrow. “From an archdemon’s lair?”
“Uh-huh.” She grins and pops a grape into her mouth. “Naamah made him walk around on a leash.”
“Excuse me?”
“To be fair,” Jess intercedes, putting her teacup down on the low table with a soft clatter of china. “They still do that for funsies.”
“Merde… Then what?”
“Then Andras killed my boyfriend’s best friend-slash-lover,” Jess says quietly.
“And Ash sent me away for my own good.”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t good?” I ask Lana, dreading where this is going.
“Hell no. Belial attacked Purgatory, sending all these horrible demons against us. Then he decorated my ribcage with his spear, but Ash came and smote him. Or was about to. Sataniel opened a hole right under him. He’s been in the Pits since.”
I try to process the deluge of information. It’s like a fascinating epic story, only my friends actually got hurt. “And you’ve been with Ashtaroth since?”
My friend’s face brightens instantly. “Yes. We’ve been doing the horizontal tango on every surface of his fortress ever since.”
“Lovely,” I drawl, wishing I wasn’t picturing it quite so vividly and getting horny again. Darned pregnancy hormones!
“My turn!” Jess exclaims, drawing my attention. “So Belial was stopped, but there was still a rift to the human world somewhere.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Lana murmurs, picking caramelized onions off her tiny sandwich.
“Liam was meant to go with a heavenly angel to find and close it, but he got injured, and I was the next Nephilim in line. But then, when my Sariel?—”
“Ash’s adopted son,” Lana interjects with a full mouth.
“When Sariel saw who the angel was, he wanted to join,” Jess continues. “It turned out that Ithuriel was his long-lost friend. Sariel was actuallyin lovewith him in Heaven and fell rather than corrupt him.”
“Aww,” I croon, hugging a cushion to me.
