“Thatisn’t up for discussion withanyone…You know I don’t kiss and tell—what? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Okay, so maybe I really didn’t want to hear the gushy, intimate parts of his and Ellie’s relationship and this was all just a setup to tell my best friend that I’m in love withhissister.
“Um, well,youmay not kiss and tell, but I’ve never been able to spare you any details of my love life, and even though she will probably kill me for saying this—”
“Whoa, there’s ashe?”
“To you in particular—”
“To me in par—huh?”
“Your sister and I are kind of together!” I blurt out, closing my eyes as if that will protect me from Teddy’s wrath. He may be a teddy bear, but he’s abigmotherfucker. But after what feels likean eternity of silence, I open them, not to anger, but to ashockedexpression on my friend’s face. “Um…can you say something?”
Teddy takes his time looking me up and down before responding. “You. And Mila. Are…together?”
“Yes. Are you—”
“And what do you mean bytogether? Like, you lived in the same house for a while? You’re friends? Wha…what do you mean?”
“Like…We enjoy each other’s company and have a sexual relationship and decided recently to give this a real shot.”
“Howrecently?”
“Well, we’ve been…doing stuff for almost two months now. But we didn’t decide to give it a real shot until this past weekend.”
“I don’t mean to sound rude, but does Mila know about this relationship?”
“Yes? Of course she does. I mean, I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days.”
“Well yeah, I wouldn’t assume so since she’s on her way to get ma—fuck.” Teddy’s face turns as white as a ghost. “I…I need to go see about, um, Ellie. I forgot she likes, um…foot rubs.”
“Wait! Are you mad at me? I know it’s your sister, but…but I love her!”
“Fuck,” Teddy mumbles as he combs his fingers through his hair. “I swear I’m not mad. I always knew you had a crush on her. I’m just surprised as hell that she gave you the time of day. No offense to you, she’s just…intense. But look, I really need to get to Ellie’s, uh, feet. You’ve got a mini fridge and a snack bar stocked with all of your favorites. Your bathroom is right through that door and should have all your preferred toiletries. If you need anything, just let us know.” He pauses at the door, looking more troubled than I’ve seen him in a very long time. “Ireally am happy for you, man. I…I hope it all works out. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Well, that’s fucking weird. I guess it’s good that he’s not mad at me. Although I’m not sure how to feel about “I’m just surprised as hell that she gave you the time of day.” I’m an excellent catch, thank you very much. I mean, in his defense, Milaislike…theultimatecatch. Okay, in all honesty, I’m also shocked that she chose me.
Nobody has ever really chosen me for me.
Sure, I’ve had plenty of women throwing themselves at me, but let’s be real—I’m a very successful athlete and a trust-fund baby on top of that. Add in the fact that I’m decently handsome, and I’m every gold digger’s dream. But if you stripped the money and notoriety from me, not even my good looks would be enough to grab their attention.
I know this because there have been plenty of people in my life who haven’t been interested in those things, and they sure as hell didn’t care about me. My parents, in particular. So for a woman so incredible to take interest in who I am at my core, well, I don’t know if I’ll ever completely believe it.
It’s why I enjoy submitting to her. Ihaveto please her. Deep in my soul, I feel the need to do whatever it takes to be Mila’s good boy. It ignites a fire in me to know I’ve made her happy. Maybe that’s why we work so well together. Whatever trauma she’s had that’s led her to her sexual preferences blends so perfectly with mine.
Falling back on the bed, I check my phone to see if there have been any new messages, but there’s nothing.
Why won’t you answer my calls?
I want to believe she’s just busy, but the longer she stays silent, the more I doubt it’s so simple. Fuck, I’m over here worried about her ghosting me when she could be in legitimate danger. Grabbing a pillow, I hold it tight to myself as my tears finallybreak free. Tomorrow, I’ll have Teddy and the new team to keep me occupied, but tonight all I can do is pretend this pillow is Mila. That the love of my life is here with me, safe and happy.
Chapter 39
The distraction ofsettling into Thunder Bay this week has been the only thing keeping me from thinking about Mila. The love of my life who ghosted me as soon as I realized I loved her.Loveher. Just because she hasn’t reached out doesn’t mean I love her any less. If anything, this time of no contact has made me realize exactly how much I crave her in my life.
It took me less than one day before I spilled the news to Teddy about Mila and me, and although he didn’t believe me at first, he’s been supportive. I know it’s a hard line for him to walk between being my best friend and trying to cultivate a relationship with his newfound sister, but he seems cool with it, for the most part. I’d never expect him to tell me all her business, or any of it, really, but it would be nice to know anything at all aboutwhy.
He’s let me know she’s okay, and that’ll have to be enough for now. My days have been hockey, training, recovery, eating, and sleeping. That’s it. I’m not sure what I’ll do long term, but I’ve managed to convince myself that Mila will reach out, and all I have to do is wait.
