What a time to be alive.
“You’re lucky no one got hurt.”
The burly fireman stares at me as if Ipurposelyset my condo in the Upper East Side on fire.
“I agree that we’re all lucky, but I’m not sure I appreciate your tone.”
He doesn’t respond, but does pull out a melted lump from his pocket.Shit.That definitely looks like one of my favorite candles. I’m pretty sure I blew them all out before I left for the Hamptons.
“Regardless, nobody’s gonna be back in this building for a while. Smoke damage is the main problem. Once we finish our investigation, we’ll turn it over to the remediation company. I believe your father has already been in touch with the insurance. Have a nice day, Mr. Prescott.”
My father?
Right on cue, my phone lights up with a call from a contact that usually never graces the screen. If he’s calling, this can’t be good. I’ve barely answered the phone when his curt tone makes me feel like I’m five years old again. Or three, or ten, or sixteen…
“Good evening, Thatcher. I see you’ve finally managed to actually render one of our properties uninhabitable.”God,he loves reminding me that they own everything.
“Hello, Father. It seems there was an incident, but I’m not sure I can be held responsible just yet—”
“Save it. The fire chief already sent a picture of the candle to the insurance company.” He sighs heavily and mumbles something to, I assume, my mother in the background. It always sounds something like “can’t believe we didn’t abort,” but I’ve never been able to make it out clearly. “This is disappointing, even for you.”
If only he knew how little his disappointment meant to me at this point.
“Well, I’ll go back to the Hamptons, I guess, until—”
“No.”
“Okay. Well, can I stay in the brownstone at—”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“Your mother and I have discussed it, and this is beyond the realm of what we’re willing to tolerate from you. The goats on the roof of the country house should have been enough, but we’ve given you too many chances. You’re on your own tofigure this one out. You can get a hotel or finally buy your own property.”
“A hotel? For months?”
“At least until you purchase something. It’ll be good for you to get into the real estate game, anyway. It’s past time. We’ve got to be going. Have a good night.”
With that, my loving father is out of my life again, probably for at least a few months. Staring at the still-smoking hulk of my condo building, I mull over my options. I can definitely get a hotel and try to buy something, but I’d really rather move back in here. The location is perfect, and I have, well,hadit decorated just the way I liked.
I hate hotels. Even the most luxurious in the world feel lifeless when you’re there alone, listening to other people come and go, laughing with their lovers or their families. Traveling with the guys, I at least have a roommate. But if I’m in a hotel alone, I’ll get up to no good. I know myself.
The guys!There’s no way every single teammate is out of town for the summer. Surely someone has to be around.
“Sorry, man. We’re in Italy for the month.”
“Jesus, Sunshine. The whole condo? Yeah, we’re out West with the wife’s family.”
“Nah, bud. Back in Canada for the offseason.”
“Can’t, Sunny. I’m going back home to Norway to propose.”
Sailboat trip, baby due any day now, backpacking through Japan…It seems like my teammates are cooler than I gave them credit for. Not a single one is available to put me up. Scrolling through my phone, I find the group chat that I somehow got added to after the party. The Wall Street guy got my number, and all his little buddies who were at the party wanted to send me texts of thanks. Hundreds of notifications later, I’ve scrolled past pictures I really didn’t want to see before they’re all cleared. Might as well put these guys to use.
“Anybody have somewhere I can crash for a month or so? Fire.” There. A simple enough request to people who have drunk more champagne and eaten more caviar on my dime than a month’s rent would be. My parents’ dime, I guess, but tomato tomahto.
The regretful denials flow in just as quickly as they did when I reached out to my teammates, and as the sun sets, I realize I might have to impose on my dearest friend and his pregnant wife. Maybe I can stay at their estate and follow his scary, hot sister around some more.
