Keys’ grip on her breast tightened as Rose lowered her mouth to his.
* * *
Holy fuck…Keys was twenty-six years old. Men his age spent their time sleeping their way through women, and some even had kids! Keys had kissedonewoman in his life, and it barely qualified as a kiss. No woman had ever touched him or allowed him to touch her as Rose was doing.
Phantom ants crawled everywhere along his skin as butterflies took up residence in his stomach. And his dick? He might be inexperienced, but even he knew better than to refer to it as the python in his pants.
Instinct told Keys to press his lips against hers, but he had no idea what to do with his tongue. Why hadn’t he researched this? Was it a dip in and out or was he supposed to, like, twist his tongue around hers? What about his teeth? And his nose? He’d literally just waxed his nose, and beyond that it was still throbbing, snot seemed to be in a free fall right now. What if he got snot all over her?
And his hands! His hand was still on her boob. Her tit? Breast? What the fuck was he supposed to call it? Why hadn’t he paid more attention in porn or read a romance book or something?Anythingto give him more than the physical mechanics. Obviously he knewwhatwas supposed to gowhere, but the lingo… Crap, was he supposed to dirty talk to her? Keys had no idea how to dirty talk!
When was the appropriate time to tell a girl he loved her? He’d made it known that he wanted to be with her, but he hadn’t said those three specific words. Didn’t women want to be told that? He was pretty sure he’d heard the ol’ ladies talking about it once, sharing the first time their men had said “I love you” tothem. That was a thing, then, right? It was important. He should do that.
Maybe?
How did his club brothers do this? How did they know what to do? Was there such a thing as sex classes? Maybe he should take some of those. Put the brakes on now, and come back once he knew what it was he was supposed to do.
Keys didn’t know when his panic had taken over to the point when his lips had stopped moving. Like an idiot, he lay there frozen as Rose tried to continue their kiss. It didn’t take her long to realize he wasn’t kissing her back, though, and she immediately pulled back.
“What is it?”
Everything was happening so fast. His dick was fully engaged in whatever was going on, while his heart hammered away in his chest like it was a war drum summoning the gods to battle, and his brain was in such disarray that it would take a professional librarian to sort through the index of his thoughts to put it back in order. And his stupid hand wasstillon her boob!
Keys yanked it back, because that was rude, right? He should have moved it to her back while they were kissing. People in movies did that.
“Keys?”
He jerked at his name, feeling like a fuse had just been lit under his skin. But he didn’t know if he was about to explode or shoot off.
Rose’s initial concern turned to confusion and worry, and was now phasing into embarrassment. She ducked her head down, her cheeks red. “I understand. I’m sorry I kissed you. I must have… I misunderstood. I shouldn’t have?—”
The second she started moving away from him, Keys’ panic shifted from what he was supposed to be doing to the undeniable knowledge that she thought he didn’t want her. Didn’twanther? Was she mad?
Keys had had crushes over the years, little feelings that faded as quickly as the Pennsylvania seasons did. His very being revolved around this woman to the point where one could most definitely argue it was an unhealthy obsession. Notwanther? He wanted no one but her!
He bolted upright in bed. “Stop!”
Rose’s legs were now hanging off the side of the bed, and her hands were down by her hips, likely preparing to stand. “I don’t want excuses, Keys. I thought,” she sniffled. “Hell, I don’t know what I thought. I had it in my head that you had feelings for me?—”
Keys shifted to his knees, panic replaced with desperation. “Of course you had it in your head that I have feelings for you! I hope like hell that I put them there! I never want you to doubt how madly in love with you I am, Rose!”
Well, spontaneity was one way to go, he supposed.
Rose turned quickly, twisting until she slipped her knees under her too. “You are?”
“If you have to ask, then clearly I haven’t been doing a good job at showing it,” Keys all but grumbled. “Rose, I’ve been in love with you foryears. Even when we declared we were just friends, I was falling for you. Telling me your past, introducing me to Oscar, even coming here… It changed nothing. If anything, it made my feelings for you stronger.”
She cocked her head to the side, blue eyes studying his intently. “I don’t understand. Then why did you pull away? I was prepared to be with you, to put all my fears aside, but you just…froze. Like I disgusted you, or you didn’t want me to kiss you.”
Shit. Fuck. Keys winced, and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You know how you said you’ve never been in a real relationship before? How you fear you’re bad at this because all you know are relationships filled with pain and hurt?” The center of Keys’ forehead started to itch, but he ignored it. “You still have more relationship knowledge than I do.”
“I don’t understand. You’ve… I mean, I expected that you slept with the club girls. I didn’t think you dated any of them. Are you saying you’ve never datedanyone?”
Keys couldn’t look at her. He didn’t even want to put his glasses back on so he wasn’t tempted. “I haven’tsleptwith anyone.”
The admission tasted like ash in his mouth. Why would she even want to be with someone like him, a pathetic loser whom everyone thought of as the kid brother?
Realizing that she hadn’t spoken, either positively or negatively, Keys put his glasses on and looked up at her. She still knelt there, but her jaw was open and her eyes were squinted. He couldn’t tell if she looked confused like she was trying to solve a mystery in her head or remember the seventeenth decimal of pi.
