Oscar would never be safe so long as her enemies still lived. Hiding in the shadows was her only option. She was an army of one, and she couldn’t protect Oscar while hunting them down. Ever since Poison had brought up the idea of starting her own motorcycle club, Rose had flip flopped between sending theNon Crasafter her enemies. From one point of view, it was no different than her sending them after a crooked mayor who was embezzling from his own town.
But it was different. It was very different, because she couldn’t send her sister to fight her battles. The people theNon Crasworked to protect were the ones with no one else, the innocents who were harmed by greed.
Rose wasn’t innocent. She couldn’t use theNon Craswhen there were others who needed them more, others who had never harmed another, never brought their reality onto themselves. Rose would not use her sister as a loaded weapon.
So where did that leave her? Where did that leave Keys?
Where did that leave Oscar?
Slowly, Rose picked up the phone. She didn’t realize she wasshaking until she looked up at the screen and Keys’ concerned face.
“I need to take a break,” Rose informed him in an unsteady voice. “I need to…” She shook her head, having no idea what it was that she needed. “I need to work on my priorities, and right now that has to be Oscar. I didn’t mean to lead you on, really. But I can’t…” She wiped at her eyes with her free hand. “I shouldn’t have continued talking to you. I shouldn’t have given myself hope. I’m sorry, Keys.”
CHAPTER 8
Three Weeks to Present
Unlike the other moms at the park who were sitting on the benches chatting with each other rather than paying attention to where their child was or had a phone screen between their nose and their child, Rose was never more than an arm’s reach from Oscar as he climbed the playground equipment. Her blonde hair was up in a ponytail with a navy blue baseball cap on top of her head. The sunglasses with pink rhinestones were the largest and gaudiest she could find, though she’d been going for size over style when she’d purchased them.
As Oscar’s little legs pushed himself up the fake rock wall, she used her body to hopefully block him from the background shots of most of the cameras around. This section of the park was the least surveilled by city cameras, though in hindsight Rose wasn’t sure that was agoodthing. Even if it worked out in her favor. The program she had running also obscured Oscar’s face in real time, so none of the city cameras would be able to get a clear pixelated shot of him. Allthe mommy cameras, however, were a completely different story. There was only so much Rose could do there in real time, so while Oscar would be taking his bath this afternoon, she would be scouring social media to ensure no record of Oscar existed.
The gun hiding in the holster at the small of her back weighed as heavily on her jeans as it did her conscience. Rose hated guns. She’d never shot at anything except a paper target before, and sheneverwanted to shoot at living flesh, but to save her son? Rose knew she wouldn’t hesitate. There would be no debate about their life or their family’s reaction to their death… If someone threatened her son, she would pull that trigger.
Everything she did was for Oscar. All her sacrifices, all her sleepless nights, all her trauma, all her paranoia was to ensure Oscar’s future. Including breaking her own heart.
As Oscar slid down the beige plastic slide with a wide smile on his face, Rose tried to match his happiness. Tried to feel like her stomach wasn’t in knots and her eyes weren’t bloodshot under polarized lenses. She said all the right things, praised him for his slide-riding prowess, but inside, her heart sat like a boulder behind her ribcage.
Rose had researched the symptoms of heartbreak, and beyond the pain, the most common report was a feeling of numbness, like nothing mattered anymore.
Shewishedshe felt numb.
Instead, it was like she had swallowed rocks and bees. There was a constant buzzing, almost tingling, beneath her skin while her stomach and organs felt too heavy. If it wasn’t for the need to feed Oscar, Rose certainly wouldn’t remember to feed herself. Hell, there was a good possibility she would still be wallowing in bed.
Beyond the dream of the possibility of a romantic future, Rose missed her friend. She missed the constant presence, the knowledge that—even with the distance between them—she wasnot facing this world alone. She missed feeling like she was finally seen, finally understood.
She’d been the outcast all her life, even in her own family.Especiallyin her own family. The black sheep. The fuck up. The disappointment.
Sure, things were better now between Poison and her, but there was also a very large possibility that that wasonlybecause Poison didn’t know it was Rose she was speaking to. The fear that Poison would want nothing to do with “MV” if she knew who was actually talking to her was the main reason Rose had never revealed herself to her sister. At first, it had been to protect Poison while Rose had still been involved with Witness Protection, but after her escape, there had been no reason not to tell Poison the truth. She’d truly been considering it…until she saw the positive symbol on the stolen pregnancy test.
As much as she loved Oscar, Rose had been barely nineteen and knocked up by a man headed off to jail for essentially running a brothel. Not exactly Father of the Year material right there, and maybe a part of her didn’t want to see that disappointed look on her big sister’s face. Again.
Poison had never been disappointed in MV. Hell, she was more open with MV than she’d ever been with Rose in herentirelife. And it felt good, knowing that Poison relied on MV, trusted her not to be that fuck-up little sister that Poison had always seen Rose as.
But she hadn’t been MV with Keys. Maybe in the beginning, he hadn’t known her real name, but he still had refused to call her “MV” or “Gl!tch.OS” or anything until he learnedhername. That should have pissed her off, should have sent her running for the hills, but instead, it had made Rose feel seen for the first timeever.
Keys understood Rose in a way that made her feel like all her quirks and paranoia and slightly manic attributes werenormal. And more than that, that they were okay. Thatshewas perfectly unique and wonderfulbecauseof them.
Oscar stuck the landing as the light-up sneakers Keys had bought him hit the recycled rubber and polyurethane flooring of the playground. Rose clapped and cheered, but the joy she usually felt at her son’s accomplishments was nonexistent.
The moment Oscar had his back turned to her as he ran to the four-foot rock wall, Rose quickly ducked her head and swiped the sides of her hands under her eyes. Straightening, Rose watched, again, as Oscar carefully got himself into position at the top of the slide, stared down it like he was calculating advanced mathematics, and then pushed off, raising his little arms in pure, innocent glee at the rush of safely falling.
And once again, Rose cheered.
The pattern continued, as if each slide race was a new experience for Oscar. But Rose did not utter a word of complaint or a coaxing suggestion to try a new adventure. Her son was happy, and that was wortheverything.
Rose stiffened when she felt someone step up next to her, but her hackles did not rise—until he spoke.
“Hello, Rose.”
