I turn and give her a dumbfounded look.
“Thirty-two?! That’s excessive.”
“Oh, you don’t want to know how many pairs of cute baby-suspenders I have in the cart, then.” She grimaces.
“Baby-suspenders? That’s not very practical for changing diapers.”
“But he’ll look so cute!” she coos, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“Ser…” I take a deep breath. “I want to get excited. I want to buy all of these things and start planning on nursey aesthetics with you, but I just can’t. It feels wrong…like somehow, him being gone is okay, and it’s not. None of this is okay. The last thing I want is to come home and feel like his absence isn’t killing me. I want to do all of these things with Damien.” Her face falls, and I instantly feel like shit. Serena has done everything she possibly can these past couple of weeks to keep me on my feet. She took a leave from work for fuck’s sake, the least I can do is entertain her shopping urges for a moment. “Not that I don’t want to do it with you, that’s not what I mean—”
“I know, girl,” she interrupts and stands from her chair at the kitchen island. Her hand grasps the edge as she swings herself around in a fluid motion. In a swift twirl around Daisy, she makes her way over to me. “I know you miss him, and I know it doesn’t feel right without him, but it’s my job as your bestfriend, and this baby’s Godmother, to keep you happy. It—” she pokes my belly “—feels what you feel. You’re going to make my little gummy bear depressed before they’re even born. I can’t let either of you be sad. For you, it’s pretty much impossible. Depression is one of your staples,butthat doesn’t mean I can’t try to make you cheerful. So…” She reaches across the counter to grab her phone. A wicked grin sprouts on her face, and I instantly get a bad feeling.
“Oh, God.NoJustin Bieber!”
She flings her head back and cackles before poking her hip out.
“I agree completely. He’s totally old news now. It’s time to spice up our little dance parties.” She wiggles her hips, and I instinctively take a small step away from her, in fear of my life.
“I’m scared.”
“You should be.” She grins again and starts to scroll through what I imagine is her Spotify app. I can’t help but look over to my best friend as she stands there and looks so casual. Normally, unless we’re going out somewhere, I have to see her in her scrubs and a ponytail. But right now, her hair is down, and she’s wearing a pair of her lounge shorts and a shirt that I’m almost positive is Carter’s. I can’t tell for sure, because she does have a lot of large, plain white T-shirts that she sleeps in. A part of me wants to ask, but I know she’s upset about their situation. So, I’ve tried not to bring it up unless she does.
“This ‘distraction crew’ isn’t the reason you took time off of work, right?” I ask her softly, and she tears her gaze away from her phone long enough to cut me one of her guilty ‘fuck yeah’ looks. We may have our moments and fights, but I can’t help but feel extremely appreciative for her right now. Once again, when I need her most, she’s here. The moment Carter told her Damien was missing, she ditched the emergency shift they called her in for and headed straight here. Ever since, any time I’ve neededher, she’s been right by my side. Even with all of her and Carter’s drama, she’s been putting up with him for my sake.
Damn, I love that girl.
“Huh? You mean to take care of my bestie and my godchild while she’s in a crisis? Of course not. Don’t be so selfish. It’s not all about you, you know.” She winks at me teasingly as she taps her phone with an exaggerated jab. I’m surprised when a slower song plays out over the speaker system, and I raise a brow.
“What is this?”
“WHAT?!” she screams. “You’ve never heard of Chappell Roan?!”
I narrow my eyes at her.
“Bitch. No. You know I only listen to this kind of stuff when you’re around.”
“Then I need to be around more often,” she teases. The song starts to pick up a little, and she starts to sway. I roll my eyes at her, but give in pretty quickly. Instead of fighting her on it, I just move with her, knowing that in the end I would just lose anyway. Exercise is good for the baby, after all, and I suppose some normal ‘I’m not about to kill some people’ movement is good for them. “Ha! I knew it!”
Daisy just cocks her head to the side like even she’s wondering what the hell we’re doing.
“Fuck off.” I shake my head, but laugh a little. “Which song is this?”
“‘Femininomenon’! It’s the best!” She grabs my hands and pulls me away from the stove before she does a spin.
“Seriously?”
“Hey! You did boss-bitch shit today! Embrace it!”
“Yeah, but ‘Feminin-neno-me’?” I completely butcher it, but eh. Fuck it. She laughs and shakes her head as she starts to jump around.
“Femininomenon!” she screams again. I don’t jump around with her, because I’d rather not have the baby think there’s an earthquake happening, but I do move a little more intently. The beat is actually pretty good, and the moment Serena screams ‘can you play a song with a fucking beat,’ I can’t help but get into it.
She backs her ass up against me in perfect Ser-like fashion, twerks a little, and then she twirls around to scream-sing to my belly. I lose it once she rubs her hand across it and continues to bounce around. I can see it now. She’ll be babysitting, and when I show up to pick up my child, they’ll be wearing her sunglasses and screaming Little John’s ‘Yeah’ into a wooden spoon.
The thought actually makes me laugh, and it feels like some weight lifts off my shoulders. I suppose I can try to relax for a little while. As much as I hate to admit it, Ser might have a point. I don’t want the baby to feel my sadness. It’s not like I can help it, and this dance won’t actually fix anything, but I guess the moving around and happy vibes are what’s best for them right now.
Zeke and Carter come in from the garage, but we don’t bother stopping. I glance up at them as I continue to sway, and their faces alone make me giggle. They’re looking at us like we’re insane. Zeke’s eyes are so wide that they might pop out, and Carter’s lip curls just a little in confusion, but his eyes definitely aren’t on me.
