“I got it.” He sprints through the doors as well, leaving me to catch only a glimpse of Zeke’s hyperventilating body under Damien’s grip.
I just stare at the closing door, not knowing what to do or what to say—who to call or whether I should even make a move.
“Ashia?”
My head snaps in the direction of my name being called out, and the small, sweet, reddish-blonde-headed woman I’ve come to know over the years, sits in the corner in her pajamas with a tear-streaked face. Her hazel eyes look brighter beneath her tears, and her normally-flushed skin is even redder now. The freckles that cover her face, neck, and chest seem to bleed together with the heated skin, but I instantly notice her shaking.
“Jamie?” I look back towards the doors, but then step over to her, feeling the grief rolling off her. “What are you—”
She shakes her head before I can finish, and it hits me then—the reason behind her sorrow and the hard truth that laid right in front of me the moment she called my name. From what I know about Jamie, she doesn’t have family here, and never really had time to make a lot of friends. She lived and breathed her job as an in-home nurse, and there was nothing she took more seriously than that.
Charlie’snurse.
“I don’t know who to call…” she shakily speaks and wipes tears from her cheeks. Dread settles in my lungs, and I take a deep breath as I finally let a teardrop run down my face.
“Charlie? Is he…” I ask through trembling words, unable to finish the question, and she nods just before sobbing once again.My stomach sinks and flips another time, and I can’t help but look at the ceiling to try and compose myself. I try like hell to keep my shit together. So much has been lost so quickly, and while we knew this would be catastrophic from the moment Carter put the TV on this morning, it’s hitting even harder now. Every single person in this room is feeling this grief—this pain—and it’s tough to wrap my head around.
I was supposed to see him today. It’s not like we had anything planned, but I knew the moment I would walk in the doors at work, Charlie would’ve been there. He’s always been…wasalways…one of my biggest supporters. He was my loudest cheerleader, and even though the world already felt empty today, it definitely feels darker now.
“Coming through!” I look back as paramedics wheel another victim in on a stretcher. This man is larger in size, with dark skin and hair, and he’s hooked up to a bag to help him breathe. I almost look away, not sure how much more I can take of this, but then I catch a glimpse of the necklace around his neck—the one now draping lazily over his shoulder.
Emmett’s necklace.
“Oh, God…” I whisper to myself as I watch them wheel him through the doors, only to catch another glimpse of Damien and Carter, who have managed to get Zeke to his feet. My hand finds my chest, and I can feel the pounding of my heart beneath it. Ice cold circulates through my veins, making the tips of my fingers feel numb, and my limbs feel heavy.
Damien’s eyes find mine, and the sorrow shines brightly through them. His grip is so tight around Zeke’s torso that his knuckles are turning white as he grasps his own wrist. Sobs wrack Zeke’s body, and his face is still contorted in agony. Damien just shakes his head, seemingly trying to control his own heavy breaths. It’s like it’s the first time he doesn’t know what to do, and that alone crushes me.
“Ash?”
I immediately find Jaimie’s eyes again at the sound of her voice, taking in the depths of her anguish. She may have been Charlie’s nurse, but that’s not all she was. He loved her dearly and really thought the world of her. Sometimes she would act like he annoyed the hell out of her, but I know she loved him, too. Despite their age difference, and the fact that she had to care for him, they were thick as thieves, and now that’s burned to ash with everything else.
“What do we do?” she asks with a quivered lip. I can only stare in disbelief. Linette’s cries and loud demands sound out behind me, echoing throughout the room before she even enters it. All of the voices around me collide in one sound, mirroring the momentum of a crash. The lights are too bright, and the room closes in around me, suffocating me with the anger, confusion, and grief that coats the air. I try to speak, to give her some type of hope, but nothing comes out.
Because I don’t know what we’re going to do.
Or what’s going to happen next.
Chapter 3
Damien
‘Failure’ – Breaking Benjamin
My hands shake as I put the Audi in park, and I barely have the strength to turn the car off. I can still feel him in my arms, and how heavy he felt as I carried him out of the warehouse. We’ve wrestled and beat the shit out of each other a thousand times, but he’s never felt as heavy as he did an hour ago. I didn’t want anyone to help me bring him out. He was my best friend. He was my responsibility, and I failed him. The least I could do was carry him away from his final moment—to at least keep his body safe.
The image of his lifeless eyes keep flashing before me, and he’s what I see instead of the streetlights illuminating the road. Especially now that I’m parked in front of his domain, he’s all that I feel right now. His scent, his energy, his spirit—it’s all present here. I know this is where he came the moment the lightleft his eyes, and the moment his heart stopped. I know this is the place, and the people, he wanted most.
I force myself to get out of the car, instantly regretting that I didn’t change clothes, and decide to go to the trunk to grab my leather jacket. For the first time probably ever, I zip it up all the way, praying to whatever God exists that she doesn’t see his blood covering my shirt. From what I can see in the middle of the dark street, I appear to be fully covered, but it’s not like I have any other choice. I need to do this. He wouldn’t want someone else to tell his wife, and I would hate myself if I pawned the task to another’s hands.
As I walk down the sidewalk, one I’ve walked so many times, towards their front door, I feel like a stranger—a foe that crossed enemy lines. I stare at the small playhouse that sits on the front lawn, as well as the little slide and yard toys that riddle the grass, and reality hits me harder than any bullet ever could. I’m about to destroy three more lives. All because I wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t smart enough. Now, a little girl will go to bed every night and ask where her daddy is. A baby boy will grow up never knowing his father.
And it’s all my fault.
I take one last heavy step up to the door and raise my hand to knock, but I can’t bring myself to do it. A part of me feels bad that I didn’t call first to tell her I was coming, but a phone call from me at three o’clock in the morning would’ve been worse than this. Then the anticipation would’ve eaten away at her until I inevitably showed up to finish the job.
So, I take one last deep breath and bang on the door, hoping that I don’t wake up the kids. After a few minutes, and I don’t notice or hear any movement from inside, I think about using their spare key. It would be even worse to scare the shit out of her before I give her the worst news of her life, but this has tobe done. I knock one more time, a little louder than before, and thankfully after a moment, I see their bedroom light cut on.
As her steps come closer to the door, I adjust my jacket one more time, trying like hell to stay as covered as possible. My heart starts to beat out of my chest, and my eyes sting with premature tears. I swallow harshly, unwilling to let them fall until I’m alone. As much as this kills me, my pain doesn’t matter anymore. Hers does, and the pain his kids will feel surpasses anything else I could experience right now. The lock on the door clicks, and the moment it opens, my world comes crashing down around me.
